Kermit woke suddenly in the night, from a confused dream that faded as he sat up in the
unfamiliar room. Had he heard something? Reaching for his gun, he looked around the room, listening, not breathing. Nothing. Keeping the Desert Eagle in hand, he walked to the door, pressing his ear to it, easing open the handle and slamming it open, following it into the hall gun first. Nothing. Creeping through the hall, he listened at Jewel's door, then opened it. Moonlight streamed in through the windows and made it clear that the bed was empty, and there was no light on in her bath. Something wasn't right, and the lingering vestiges of his dream made him paranoid, suddenly convincing him that he was once again in danger of losing something infinitely precious to him. So, in shorts and T-shirt, but armed to the teeth, he slipped down the stairs, a shadow among shadows . The ex-mercenary moved through the dark living room, noticing a faint light under the kitchen door. He pushed it open with his shoulder, gun at the ready.

Jewel looked up in surprise from the depths of the cushioned chair that stood by the old wood stove in the corner of the kitchen. She held a thick white mug in one hand, a book lay open in her lap and her feet, in short white socks, were propped up on the fender of the stove. "Kermit?" She took in the gun, his expression, his attire and rose from the chair, white cotton gown and her light green robe covering the top of her socks. "What's wrong?"

"I woke up, I had this dream and.. you weren't in your room.. and it's too damn quiet out here, who could sleep any how?" he stormed, embarrassed to admit that he had been concerned about her.

She smiled. "I couldn't" she admitted, holding up the cup. "That's way I came down for some cocoa, and a little Robert Frost. Sweetie, aren't you freezing?" She shivered. "It makes me cold to look at you. "She held out her hand, "Come on, it's warmer over here."

Kermit found himself enthroned in the deep chair, still warm from her body, and was surprised when Jewel plopped herself down on his lap, snuggling companionably in front of the stove's heat. The icy touch of her charmuese robe warmed quickly and he held her lightly, enjoying the spicy rose scent of her fragrant skin. Jewel, for her part, shared her hot chocolate with him, then opened her book and began reading her favourites aloud.

"And that has made all the difference." she finished one softly, closing the book and laying her head on his shoulder. "Do you regret the choices you've made in your life, Kermit?" she asked in a dreamy tone, one that alerted him that she was thinking as she spoke.

"I try not to think about the past. Jewel. Only the present and future count."

"But not if the past continues to haunt you in the present." she spoke as if from experience and his stroking hand tugged lightly at her loose hair.

"What's haunting you?" he asked her, and she shook her head.

"I've screwed up so many times, Kermit, that I cant count them. Relationships, work.. .you know, I got out of consulting because I couldn't take the violence anymore. All the blood and gore, and the madness involved.."

"So?" his voice was harsh, challenging her. He didn't want to hear her sounding so defeated. "A lot of people change careers, doesn't make them failures."

"No, and I like private investigation a lot better than consulting work. I just hate thinking he
drove me out of it.."

"He? He who? You just finished saying that the violence drove you out."

Jewel's voice was low and muffled against his shirt, in shame? "It did, it made me sick the whole time I worked in it, but Justin made it personal. I'm not good at relationships anyway, I give too much, or play too cool. He was the first I was playing on grown-up ground and I didn't know how to handle it. He was a FBIie, tall, handsome, the image of the perfect lawman." she choked, turning her face so his shoulder hid it completely.

Kermit growled softly, all his protective instincts alerted. This guy had hurt her, and badly. "Tell me, kiddo, and maybe you won't have to think about it any more. That's what the shrinks always told me."

"Did it work for you?"

"No, but who listens to shrinks? At least, if you tell me, I'll know what's behind the late night cocoa raids. I can't change the past, but I'll hold you whenever you need to relive it." he offered, from the depths of his own painful memories and his own needs.

She pulled back, dark blue eyes wet as she looked up at his face, and he took off his glasses. "Nothing between us now but the truth, sweetheart," he told her.

Jewel nodded, took a deep breath, and said, eyes never leaving his, "Justin brought his job
frustration, and his anger, and something else, into the bedroom. He was the first man I ever slept with, and I was sure I was doing something wrong because I wasn't enjoying his little games. He got off on the fact that I was so tough, and so pliant with him, and I think he liked it when I didn't respond, except with disgust, and later with fear. The last night we were together, he ignored the "code word" which, if you ever have played bondage games, you know that you never do. It made him hotter, to know I was in real pain, and afraid of him, I guess. He made me bleed, and our relationship was over that night. I changed the locks and my phone numbers and told him to stay the hell away from me." she finally looked away, and shook her head. "I couldn't see the crimes scenes without thinking of him after that. I wondered how many of these women were just playing, or started out that way, or went along because they loved him, and then it was too late and they were dead. So, I got out. I moved here, I started up Salem Investigations, and I met you."

"You met me." His arms tightened around her, trying to shelter her from pain already felt. "How can you be like this then? How can you stand to be with me?"

"How can I be like what?" Jewel was genuinely curious. " I like being with you , Kermit. We've been good friends, haven't we?"

"Like that." He ran a gentle hand through her hair, "So open with me. You're this caring,
affectionate wonder in my life. I would have thought..."

"That I would hate men, be afraid of relationships, flinch away from contact with the male
species?" She sighed, and hugged him, her cheek against his. "When my mother married my adoptive father, his sons were a lot older than me. He and the boys treated me, as trite as it sounds, like a little princess. They spoiled and petted and made me feel like the most important person in their lives. When Mother and Daddy died, Chris and David raised me. You couldn't find two kinder, more loving brothers than mine." Her voice hardened. "Justin was a heinous bastard, and he left his mark on my soul, but I won't give him that kind of power. It's true, I didn't date for several months afterwards, and when I did again, I dated guys like your friend Peter. You know, casual, out for a good time, nothing serious. No sex, no intimacy.. until." She broke off.

Kermit gathered her closer, "and then you came to the 101st and the first thing I did was go off on you. Jewel, I wouldn't have hurt you."

She chuckled. "You think I don't know that? Gods, Kermit, you've shared some of your past with me. I know about being haunted by bygones. But I don't think I ever told you that I talked to Caine about you."

He started. "Caine? What did he say?" His voice was suspicious, and he overplayed it, just to see her grin.

"Not much, unfortunately. But I told him something, and he told me to share it with you. Until now, I never have. I told him that I could see all the darkness around you, Kermit, but when I looked at you, the real you, all I could see was a light, shining in that darkness. That's what I'm drawn to, the light. I can't help being honest with you, and I've been waiting for you to use that against me. You never have."

"I never would. Do you know how hard it is for me to believe in that honesty? I kept waiting for your real motivation, Jewel, and the only one I've come up with is that you care about me." He saw the pink stain her cheeks, but she stared him right in the eye.

"And?" she raised a brow, challenging him.

He enjoyed the challenge, feeling the mood lighten. "And?"

She pushed at him, secretly enjoying his strength, knowing with certainty that it wouldn't be used against her. "Don't be a jerk, Griffin. AND???"

"Oh, alright, you nagging wench. I care about you too." He kissed her pouting lips, and she
laughed, then looked over at the window.

"Kermit, it's almost dawn. Wanna go watch the sunrise?" She stood up and stretched, then found herself enveloped in a fierce embrace.

"Two things." His unshaded eyes locked with hers as he held her tightly. "If anyone ever hurts you like that again, I'll kill him. And, this , what we have, is not casual to me."

"It's not casual to me either, love." she whispered, "But you won't have to kill anyone. I carry a nine millimeter revolver, it's a part of my job. I pulled it on Justin the one time he tried to get back into my life. I was deadly serious, and he knew it, when I told him he'd be a Bobbitt sequel if I ever saw his sorry ass again. I CAN protect myself, Kermit, and I'd go after anyone who tried to hurt you, too."

"Then, I guess we're both safe enough." He didn't argue with the determination he saw in her eyes. "As for the sunrise, I think I'd rather go to bed."

She knew she loved him, right then, when he didn't try to convince her that he would protect them both. "I'm pretty beat too. Shall we?"

Kermit damped the fire in the stove and Jewel turned off the lights, then he followed her
upstairs, kissing her once more at her bedroom door. He had just barely settled into sleep, when his door opened and he jerked upright.

"Kermit? Would you think I'm a horrible tease if I wanted to sleep in here, with you?" Jewel played with the sash on her robe, suddenly desperate to be close to this man, to try and get past the remembered pain and warning signals in her mind.

He knew she couldn't see his smile in the predawn grayness, but he pulled back the sheets and whispered, "Oh, come on already." She was beside him in a leap and a bound, and he sighed as this complicated, lovely girl snuggled up beside him, close to his heart. Right where he needed her to be.

Epilogue:

"That's right, the early ones, with the pale green tips. The card? No, no card. Right, the 101st, last name is Griffin. Thanks, Bye." Jewel hung up the phone in her small office, then swiveled in in her chair as the door chimed. A bouquet of her favorite coral roses, followed by a delivery man, walked in. The blank card was shaped like a small frog. Smiling, she breathed in the heady aroma, set the crystal vase on her desk, and, regretfully, picked up the ringing phone. "Salem Investigations. Yes, ma'am, I'm a private investigator. .how long has he been missing.." .........

The End

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