Kermit held the ivory globe in his hand a meditative moment before tossing it into the evidence bag, sealing and tagging it, then giving it to the evidence clerk with a minimum of menace. He was glad to be rid of the thing, with its twin carved faces and peculiar trick of warming in his hands. He mentally filed the phenomenon under 'old ivory, properties of' and thought no more about it as he took the basement office stairs two at a time. He was done for the day, and so turned at the head of the staircase and left via the ground floor side door. The late afternoon sun was blinding, and he adjusted his shades to cut the glare, taking a deep breath of fresh air, as fresh as downtown city air got. It was warm for early spring, and the black-suited detective loosened his tie as he walked over to where the Corvair gleamed in the sunshine.

<Definitely a top down sort of day,> he was thinking to himself, when he noticed someone sitting on his car. That the person turned out to be Jewel only mildly abated his annoyance, and he was already starting his opening foray when she folded her paper and slid off the hood, right at him. Kermit's mercenary reflexes caught her, her enthusiastic embrace lulled his diatribe into a gentle reminder, to be delivered at some future time.

"Hey, sailor, you lookin' for a good time?" she asked, and he tugged at her braid.

"Could be, if the price is right." Then, not fooled by her playfulness, he asked, "All right, what is it?"

Jewel shook her head in mock admiration. "You are really too good, Kermit. You should have been playing along for at least another five minutes."

"Out with it," he growled and she saluted him impudently.

"Yes sir, anything you say, sir. In a nutshell, I can't make the party tonight, I have a hot lead to track down on a missing person. So, you are flying solo, sailor. Think you can handle it?"

His hands slid down the soft suede of her jacket to her waist, and she leaned back against them, confident in his strength. "I'll manage, but I won't enjoy it," he answered.

"You never enjoy parties. I, however, was looking forward to an excuse to put on my girly clothes, drink champagne, and dance with the city's finest." She grinned up at him and he had to smile back.

"You could wear them for me. I can buy champagne, you know."

"And then we could dance, and since you ARE the city's finest, everybody wins. Do we have a date for tomorrow then?" "Oh, yeah." Kermit tapped the tip of her nose, and she laughed, pulling him into a firm embrace.

"Good. I have to go, don't tell people that you kill for a living tonight, it stifles the flow of conversation." She turned back to her boxy VW, leaning over the top and smiling, "I love you." "Me too." She was gone in a cloud of diesel and a wave of Madonna's "Immaculate Collection." Eighties pop and country music. He shuddered. Jewel's taste in
music was better left alone.

"And I do it BECAUSE it stifles conversation," he muttered to himself. The afternoon had grown a little dimmer, but he focused on planning a private party for himself, and a certain young woman in her "girly clothes." He couldn't wait to see just what she meant by that one.

*******

Muddled sensations tugged at his consciousness as Kermit struggled to wake. Every joint screamed to remain still as his will forced them into motion. Clawing at his eyes with one hand, the man began to reassemble reality.

Cool, clean sheets. A pillow. Warmth wrapping around him. What was that scent? Sweet, floral perfume. That sound?

"If you'll be my Dixie chicken, I'll be your Tennessee lamb..."

<The woman's choices in music are getting worse,> Kermit mused, finally prying himself into the morning. <I can't stomach Little Feat.> The singing was drifting back into the bedroom along with the heavy, sweet smells of breakfast.

Trying to sit up, the dizziness attacked once again, driving him back onto the pillows. Eyes clamped shut against the nauseating light, Kermit tried to ride out the wave threatening to boil over at any second.

A hangover. He couldn't remember his last hangover. Surely he hadn't had that much to drink at the party. Summoning his memories of hangover survival, he fought one leg out from beneath the covers and put it firmly on the floor. Quick recovery was essential in this circumstance. Jewel would latch onto this one and pick his manhood into puzzle pieces.

First, the eyes. Manually ungluing the lids, Kermit endured the assault of light. Sparkling blindness eventually gave way to shape and color.

And hallucination.

Kermit stared in disbelief at his surroundings. Gone were the deep, quiet shades of Jewel's loft. From his perch in the middle of some fluffy four-poster nightmare, Kermit found flowers and lace in every corner. Dizzy patterns of roses littered the wallpaper. The smell of some sickeningly sweet perfume clung to everything. Mercenary reflexes ignited.
<Okay, you know where you're not. Now where are you?>

He was naked, confirmed by a quick inspection beneath the covers. Scanning the room, he found his dark suit and tie neatly placed on a hanger in the corner but his gun was no where in sight.

The singing moved suddenly closer, a soft female voice. "And we can walk togethah' down in Dixieland."

Tensed for attack but made slightly vulnerable in his birthday suit, Kermit sat bolt-upright in bed. The sight rounding the corner nearly brought back the dreaded bed-spins of moments earlier.

A petite blonde swayed through the door. Swathed in a pale pink bathrobe and carrying a steaming coffee cup, the woman smiled brilliantly and crawled up to join him in bed. Before he could recover from the shock, Kermit found his hand wrapped around the coffee cup and his mouth pressed against soft pink lips. The taste of peppermint toothpaste and orange juice licked the inside of his mouth with warmth and affection.

Pulling back slightly, the woman giggled a sexy melody. "Mornin' sugar. After last night," she winked and kissed the bridge of his nose, "I thought you deserved to sleep in."

He stared in amazement as the pleasantly curved woman leaned back on her hands and tossed back her long golden hair with a look that was nothing less than hungry.

<Oh shit...shit, shit, shit!!!!>

The woman stepped her fingers up his thigh, which was thankfully covered by an elaborate patchwork quilt. He fought the flinch unsuccessfully.

"Oh, so you're ticklish this morning!" She giggled again and moved to pull back the flimsy protection Kermit found himself clinging to with both hands.

<SHIT!>

Catching both of the woman's hands in one of his own, he stopped her advance. What had he done? The mantra repeated in his mind. <Shit, shit, shit! You got drunk! You went home with this woman.>

"I'm afraid you have me at a disadvantage, Madam." His parry only made her green eyes gleam more brightly.

"Ummmm." She wriggled her hands free and reached for the belt of her robe. "Then how 'bout a big ole refresher course?!"

The Southern accent of this woman, who was obviously preparing for another encounter, sent him into a panic. How could he do this? Explaining this would be monumental. <Lie. You were aid to lie. You can do it again,> he babbled internally. But he couldn't lie to Jewel. As soon as he knew exactly what the truth was, he would tell.

Then, she would kill him, deservedly so. The robe was open now. One thin strap was easing its way down her arm.

<Shit.>

Into the charged morning air, came the piercing sound of a baby crying. If Kermit had any doubts as to the gutter that had consumed his integrity, that sound was confirmation.

<A one night stand with a mother. Shit.>

"Oops!" The blonde quickly regained her robe, much to the befuddled man's relief. "Looks like your daughter has other plans." Floating down from the bed, she tossed one final instruction as she left. "Breakfast in ten minutes or you'll be late."

It took a few dry moments of disbelief for the exact words to sink into his mind. Then, the hangover returned with the force of a stampede.

"My WHAT?!!" Kermit fell back on the pillows and rode out another wave of sickness.

*****

It was both late and early when the universe shifted. In twin darkness, Caine awoke, searching within himself for the answer. Knowing the difference was upon them...not knowing yet what it was, or how to reverse it...

*****

Kermit woke in the cool darkness of dawn, as if from one of his frequent nightmares. Something was wrong and he lay quietly, the comforting warmth of the woman beside him familiar. His eyes adjusted to the dusk-gray light as it swept toward day, just as he realized that the scent of the room was wrong. Savannah's sweet floral perfume, so much a part of their bedroom that he only noticed now when it was changed to a woodsy, spicy scent. He froze, seeing the room, the room that was not the bedroom he shared with his wife. The four poster was gone, the froth of sheets and linens, the heirloom quilt and mound of pillows, Savannah's cherry dressing table, all gone.
Instead, a large dormer window, curtainless, showed a slice of pearl and pink sky. There was a huge armoire in the corner where their master bath should be, a low bookcase against the wooden wall to his left. Candles in blue and glass and brass holders were all over, a few art posters on the walls. Keeping his voice low, Kermit reached out to his wife, whispered, "Savannah," then turned to caution her. He jerked upright in shock, and the woman who had curled so confidently at his side woke also.

"Kermit, love, what is it?" she murmured, dark red hair loose and draped across her bare hip. Her hand lightly touched his chest and he pulled away, demanding, "Who the hell are you?" in a sharp tone.

She responded sleepily, almost routinely, "It's me, sweetheart, it's Jewel. You're okay. Come on back to sleep, it's early." Her smile was tender and soft as she snuggled back into the pillows, gently tugging at his arm to bring him back beside her.

Mercenary instincts at the forefront, Kermit moved fast. He pinned the stranger under him, holding her hands in one of his, and demanded, "I SAID, who are you? Where am I? Where is my wife and child?"

The woman was startled, but her eyes held no trace of fear as she came fully awake. He saw only concern and...compassion? "Kermit, it's me, Jewel. It's okay. Are you awake? You're safe, you're here and you're safe." Her voice was low and soothing and he thought that he was going to strangle her if she didn't answer him soon.

"Okay, Jewel, I want some answers! First, where am I?"

She sighed, and smiled at him, not resisting or struggling. The young woman let her hands rest in his, her body warm and still beneath his own. "You are in my apartment, my bedroom specifically, in the city. We spend most nights here, sometimes we stay at your place, and sometimes we sleep separately. I was glad to get in last night and find you here after your precinct party." Her smile changed, her tone intimate and sensual now, "and I woke you up, and you vowed to wreak revenge on my helpless, sleep deprived body, and you did, quite nicely in fact, and then we drifted off to sleep. This is my home, Kermit but you have a key to it, and you are always welcome here. Are you okay now?"

He stared down at her, his hands unconsciously tightening their grip as he tried to figure out who she worked for and how she expected him to swallow such an outrageous story. His face must have reflected his frustration, because he saw a change in her eyes. Not quite fear...but...

"Kermit...I don't know what is going on, but this is scaring me a little. Please let me up." He pressed against her in anticipation of a struggle and she didn't move. He heard her catch her breath. "Kermit, please. You're hurting me. I promise, I won't move quickly, I won't try to get off the bed, but I'm getting freaked out and if I have a panic attack, we both might get hurt."

She was either a great actress, not unheard of, or she was really fighting to control bone deep fear. He knew that sound, he'd felt that feeling in his own body, and he couldn't inflict it on this girl. She hadn't offered him any physical threat, yet. Kermit moved to her side, and she very slowly pulled up the patchwork quilt up, sitting up against the pillows, not moving away. She left her hands in sight on the quilt, crossed over her chest, as she sighed in relief.

"Thanks, love, that was pretty weird. What were you doing, anyway?" she asked and he shook his head.

"I don't know what kind of a game you're playing, or who you are working for, but if my wife or child are harmed in any way, your boss is getting you back in pieces." His threat failed to impress. Jewel seemed less concerned with his deadliest tone, but more with what he had said.

"Your wife? Your child? Kermit, you aren't married!"

He thought of golden-haired Savannah, her green eyes and soft scented skin, his willful little daughter with her black curls and her beautiful mother's eyes, her merry laugh, and the ex-mercenary shook his head fiercely. They were his life, his heart, and this woman didn't know anything about them? Or claimed not to know.

"My wife, Savannah March Griffin. My daughter, Katherine Griffin. You don't know them, but you know me?" he said, disbelief dripping from each word.

She met his challenge mildly, with growing concern in her voice. "You told me, once upon a time, that you had had three marriages. Your child bride, back when you went to Vietnam, your psycho wife with my name, and your partner/wife 'in the business.' Are you telling me that you have managed to add a Savannah and a daughter to this list? When?" Blue eyes stared into brown, and her gaze dropped. "I wish Caine were here," she said, half to herself.

Kermit picked up on it, the first thing she had said that made sense. "Caine? You know Caine?" "Of course, you remember him?"

"I work with his son, he performed my marriage to Savannah, he delivered my daughter."

Their eyes met again, in sudden hope. "Then there's a way out of whatever this is. Let's go find him." Jewel said, and Kermit took her arm in a firm, but not painful grip. "No tricks, lady. "

"Your gun is probably right over on the dresser, Kermit. That's where you usually keep it."

He glanced over in the brightening room, and saw it sitting beside his shades on the nightstand by "his" side of the bed. He raised an eyebrow and she shrugged.

"This isn't a childproof house. Now, can we get dressed?"

*****

Kermit Griffin wasted no time scrambling into his clothing as his anonymous companion babbled baby talk from the other room. Girding himself securely inside his starched black armor, the man plowed through his vacant memory of the night before. It was empty. A sucking void. One vague impression of sliding into Jewel's bed nagged at the edge of his mind, but that could have been any night.

"Come on Kitty Kat, let's get breakfast ready for Daddy." The sing-song melody of a toddler played its way down the hall as Kermit drew in his breath.

Daddy. Not only was this woman some marauding magnolia, but she was delusional. Protected by his clothing once again, Kermit began to construct a plan of attack. He had to get the hell out of there.

His gun was no where to be found. Probably, the woman wasn't crazy enough to leave a weapon lying around with a toddler in the house. Searching carefully and keeping an ear tuned to the sounds drifting back from the kitchen, Kermit tore his way through the room. On top of the carved highboy chest in the corner, where he expected to find his extra appendage, he came up empty. Forcing himself not to cringe, he plowed his hands through several drawers of frilly, cool, satin underthings. Nothing.

Eagle eyes spotted his shades and keys on a lace draped dressing table across the bed. Taking the shortest path, the frantic detective scrambled quickly over the mountain of bed clothes and pillows to reach the other side. As he gripped the headboard to propel himself forward, his fingers brushed icy black metal.

Years of familiarity brought instant recognition and he looped a hand over the back of the polished cherrywood surface to retrieve the Desert Eagle. Upon closer inspection, he discovered an artfully constructed holster attached to the bed and some annoying child proof trigger guard violating the clean oiled lines of his gun.

Looking back toward the doorway, Kermit began to view his harmless Southern hostess in a new light. Returning the weapon to its rightful place in his back, he hardened his inspection. Beside his car keys, the skilled detective was slapped in the face by a second discovery.

Held in a elegant filigree frame, was a photograph of his hostess, a little dark-haired child...and Kermit Griffin! Hands blown cold at the incongruous image of his own face pulled the photo from its resting place behind a small crystal bowl of potpourri. He brought it closer. A birthday cake sat in front of the pictured trio, and the child's bright pink cheeks were puffed up to blow. The woman, his possible bed partner, was holding the little girl on her lap, smiling and leaning forward to offer an unseen breeze to help with the procedure. And Kermit, or his image, crouched at table level, smiling at the effort. Pink balloons fluttered in the background of the scene, floating happily over the proceedings.

For a moment, he was staggered by the image. A normal birthday party. A family. A happy family. The woman was gracefully beautiful and resting a tender hand on his shoulder. The child was breathtaking. He, to his amazement, looked happy. One firm mental shake banished the shock. Photos were easily altered. He'd done it himself, putting strangers into combinations for his own covert purposes. The fact that his image was here turned this from a casual encounter into something more calculated. No longer was he hampered by doubts of his loyalty to Jewel and abhorrent loss of control.

Snatching a huge leather purse from the floor, Kermit boldly dug through the woman's things. In annoyed haste, he dumped the mangled collection onto the bed. A confused pile of lipstick, envelopes, and miscellaneous junk spilled out for his viewing. Finding a small brown wallet, he laid hands on her ID. "Savannah Griffin" emblazoned all of her credit cards and her driver's license. Her checks were headed with "Mr. or Mrs. Kermit Griffin." All other paperwork supported this constructed identity. Even more photographs with his image applied were inside a hard metal case.

His mood shifted. Someone was going to great efforts to gaslight him and he wasn't buying it. "Let's just see how detail oriented the material is here," he said to himself, ripping open the double doors of the closet. "Nice touch," he commented, running his hands over a collection of dark suits hanging beside a softer pallet of women's clothing.

Jerking out the unfamiliar cell phone in his jacket pocket, he reached out to familiar ground. Before thinking it through, his hand tapped memory dial selection number one. The phone beside the bed began to ring and he quickly disconnected. He dialed Jewel's number manually.

<Dirk's Dry Cleaning, CAN I help you?>

Closing the device with anger prickling his fingers, Kermit cursed the phone gods who were screwing around with his life when he was decidedly in need. Now, he had a decision to make. Play along or confront the cheerful liar in the pink bathrobe?

The child in the house was real. He couldn't take a risk with her there. Pasting on his seldom used smile, Kermit touched the gun in his belt for reassurance and sauntered through the suburban normalcy toward the next act.

*****

Steering his Corvair through familiar streets, taking an unfamiliar route to Caine's place, Kermit was deep in thought. He stole a look at the woman beside him from behind his shades, pale and composed as she gave him directions. It had been a long time since he had been in the position to see any other woman dress, and he'd fought the guilt down when this Jewel casually got out of bed and went to the armoire without pulling on a robe. He'd watched, telling himself it was good instinct, making sure that she didn't pull a gun out of a drawer, but he'd found himself comparing her to Savannah. She was a bit taller, and her long hair was attractive with her pale coloring and dark blue eyes, but not a patch on Savannah's riot of blonde curls and green eyes, eyes that looked at him with such love and trust. She lacked Savannah's delicious rounded curves, and she just looked younger, girlish at times, whereas Savannah was all woman. Jewel had pulled out a plain cotton bra and panty set, jeans and a long sleeved jersey, and simply gotten dressed. No sidelong looks, no protests or embarrassment, and then she sat down on the bed with a hairbrush and began plaiting her hair into one long braid. He was still in bed when she stood up and turned around, then shook her head impatiently.

"Come ON, Kermit, will you? We have to find out what's wrong!"

He waved her back when she headed for the stairs without him, so she sighed and folded her arms, glaring at him until he had buttoned his shirt and was ready to follow her down. He allowed her to go first, and didn't pay much attention to the décor as she pointed out his keys, scooped up her own, and indicated the door. "Shall we?"

His car had been waiting in a tiny parking lot out behind her building, next to a boxy, ugly VW that she patted affectionately as she offered to drive. He'd nixed that one fast and ordered her into the Corvair. Her refusal to be intimidated was irritating.

"You want to turn left up here," she told him, and Kermit broke out of his daze.

"I know!" he snapped, recognizing the street.

"Fine!" Jewel responded, "At least you recognize SOMETHING." The petulance covered the hurt he would have seen in her eyes had he looked over at that moment.

They streaked to a halt in the fresh dawn air, Jewel jumping out of the Corvair and heading for Caine's door, seeming as eager as Kermit himself for the Shaolin's take on matters. She knocked loudly on the wooden door, not noticing as Kermit came to stand behind her. Caine opened it, dressed in daytime clothing and not at all as if he had been awakened. "Kermit, Julia. Come in, I have been expecting you."

He bowed slightly to each of them, gestured the two inside. "I must speak to Kermit alone," he told Jewel gently, putting up a hand as she protested.

"Caine, you don't understand, he--"

"Please. That is why I must speak to him now. There is tea waiting for you in the garden, try to be calm." His hand rested a moment on her shoulder. "Do not worry."

She shot one agonized glance at Kermit, nodded and turned, then went up the stairs. Kermit watched her go, tempted to demand her return, knowing that she could be fetching whoever was running this game, then realized that he'd welcome that. A simple explanation, an actual enemy to fight instead of this blankness and confusion. "So, Caine?"

"You are troubled, Kermit, lost. I felt it before you arrived."

"Yeah, I'm troubled, Caine. Savannah and Kat have disappeared, I woke up in a strange apartment, with a woman I don't know, who seems to know me too damn well. Troubled doesn't begin to cover it!"

"I do not know a woman named Savannah, nor anyone named Kat," Caine told him and the dark man's face turned to stone beneath the green shades.

"How did they get to you, of all people?" he asked quietly. "You married us, you DELIVERED my daughter and you deny them? What could be more important than the truth to you, Caine?"

"Nothing, my friend. I would not betray you, I must ask you to trust me now."

"I'm not trusting anyone or anything until I have my family back," Kermit began, but Caine was too fast for him.

Eyes closed, the Shaolin's hand shot out and touched his forehead, Kermit felt himself grow weak for an instant, unable to move, unable to fall, and then the deceptively gentle older man was catching him, stabilizing him.

"What did you hit me with, Caine?" The detective demanded angrily, but Kwai Chang Caine shook his head. He was also badly shaken.

"Kermit...I felt the world shift around me early in the morning today. Now I know what has shifted." With that cryptic statement he began to explain and to continue, over Kermit's incredulous protests and demands for proof, until the detective understood, until he believed.

Jewel was sitting in the early morning garden, feet up on the bench with her to avoid the dew. She'd only slipped on a pair of sandals when dressing and it was still chilly this early in spring. The pot of chamomile tea Caine had left for her was half empty, she kept pouring and drinking, trying to make sense of what had happened to her world. A familiar voice said, "Hey, kiddo, any left?" and her heart leaped. She turned, eyes shining...and knew.

"Sure, help yourself," she answered and won the fight to keep her voice steady, but Kermit saw that he must have, unknowingly, chosen the wrong words.

She made room for him on the bench and handed him tea which Kermit sipped thoughtfully. The ex-mercenary was surprised at his own calm now that Caine was involved, and when he looked over at his pale companion, he saw that the tea was sloshing over her trembling hands. Compassion touched him and he realized, for the first time, that whatever this was, Jewel wasn't a part of it. Kindly, he reached over to take the cup from her hands, giving one of the hard little paws a friendly squeeze. She gave him a tremulous smile, and Caine cleared his throat, coming in behind them and settling on another bench.

"Julia, let me first reassure you, Kermit is not imagining his wife and child. They are real, and he does not know you, because he has not lived this life." The older priest's voice was gentle, and he took her other hand, looking carefully at them both. Jewel stared as he spoke. "Kermit, this Kermit, is from another place, another...dimension where the life he has lived has taken a different route."

"So, he's not nuts, he just isn't who I think he is?" Jewel was confused, and didn't try to hide it.

"He is...you are...Kermit Griffin. But not the Kermit Griffin who lives in this here and now."

"You and I never met, in your world, or maybe we did, but you were already married." She shook her head, trying to work it out to where she could deal with it. "This is too weird. What about my...our Kermit, Caine?"

"He is in," Caine nodded to Kermit, "your world."

"With Savannah and Kat. And he's going to be just as disoriented as I was, if he thinks Savannah is part of a plot he could do anything." He began to pace, covering only two steps, then stopping quickly. The terror and anger were evident in his every move. He wanted to go to her, to protect her from...himself. Suddenly, Jewel was in his face, red with a defensive retort.

"He wouldn't hurt them!" Jewel flared, leaping headfirst into the defense of the man she loved. "He would never hurt a child and your wife is as clueless about this as I am, Kermit. You didn't hurt me this morning, did you?"

"It was close enough." He felt a shiver run down his back at the thought of Savannah in the same position as Jewel when he had pinned her in her own bed. The thought of his own hands, his own face terrorizing her made him ill.

"He would stop. You stopped, didn't you?"

He shook his head wordlessly, and she gently touched his jacket sleeve, a feather-light gesture of comfort. "Give him some credit, okay? You of all people know how slick Kermit is at figuring out a situation."

Caine nodded. "He is, as you are, a man of experience and action, but also a man of honor. We must focus our attention on discovering what brought you here and how you are to return."

"You mean that you don't know?" Jewel's voice cracked and Caine bowed, sorrowfully, in her direction.

"I believe that it will take all of our skills to unlock this mystery, Julia. You have an extensive collection of books on magic, spells, curses, do you not?"

"The curses not so much, but I have a large network of friends I can email for info about this sort of thing. Am I looking for anything specific?" "Something old, something solid. I do not believe that this was directed at Kermit, it feels like an accident?"

"Okay, that narrows it down, a fraction. If you'll give me a lift back to the loft, Kermit, I mean, well, hell that IS your name." Then, covering her awkwardness, she asked, "What are you guys going to do?"

"Kermit, I will need you to go over every detail of your day yesterday. Perhaps we will find our starting point there."

The detective nodded, and grabbed his keys. "Let's go then."

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