July 1982

"Come on, Pete. It's too late to chicken out," Ronny told his friend.

Sixteen-year-old Peter hesitated as he bounced on his toes. His expression tightened into lines of worry. He pushed away from the tree and started pacing like a caged tiger.

"I don't think this is a good idea. We better go back," he said finally, turning back to Ronny and drawing a hand through his tousled hair.

Ronny scoffed impatiently. "What are you, Petey? A coward or a man?"

Peter pointed at the large 'no trespassing' sign in front of them. "Hey, man, you never said that we'd be going onto private property!"

Ronny shot him a mocking glare. "Aw, I see. You're scared shitless, just because we might be trespassing. I know what's going on here. Lil' Petey-boy is so afraid of his almighty foster father, the police captain, that he's lost all his courage."

Peter's eyes gleamed with anger as his stance straightened, and he balled his hands into tight fists. His lips became a thin line of tension and he shouted, "I'm not afraid of Paul. You have no right to say that! I'm not afraid of anything!"

Ronny merely grinned. He knew which buttons to push for Peter and he used the knowledge to his advantage, enjoying the game immensely. It was his new favorite hobby. He knew a lot of people noticed that he bullied Peter, but the only person who never saw the truth was Peter, the poor orphan boy, and that was fine with Ronny. After all, it meant he had a free hand to do with Peter as he pleased.

"Then show me. Yesterday, you were all crazy about this idea…and now you're nothing, but a big fat chicken." Ronny imitated chicken sounds and flapped his arms.

This final taunt seemed to spur Peter into action. With a dirty look at his friend, he approached him in long strides. He kicked the 'no trespassing' sign as if trying to prove that he wasn't afraid and said, "Lead on, I'm right behind you."

***

Well hidden in the brush, Peter and Ronny had a very good view of the hut and a small lake in the middle of a large clearing in the woods. They settled into comfortable positions and waited for the show to begin. Soon, sounds of laughter and feminine voices drifted to their ears.

Ronny nudged Peter. "See, I told you they would come. Lucy's father owns this property, and he let it slip that the girls come here every Friday. Do you have the camera?"

"Um, no. I forgot it," Peter responded, hoping his friend wouldn't realize the lie.

"Idiot," was all Ronny said, already distracted by the action at the small lake.

The three girls arrived at the lake and began disrobing. It was obvious they thought they were alone. When they were finished, the close-fitting bikinis they wore showed off each prominent curve of their young bodies. Teasing each other, they ran off and jumped into the crystal clear water.

"Come on, show me what you got, Lucy." Peter heard Ronny mumble.

To Peter's dismay, and Ronny's joy, the girls seemed to hear Ronny. As they got out of the water, each girl took off her top. They lay down in the soft grass and let themselves dry in the warm sun, talking about things girls talk about.

Peter felt very uncomfortable watching the threesome, especially as the enticing sight made his body respond in ways he hadn't anticipated. It had sounded like a wonderful idea to observe the girls in their secret bath-place yesterday, but now he couldn't shake the thought that this was very wrong, particularly after they'd passed several 'no trespassing' signs on their way to the lake. Unable to remain motionless any longer, Peter began to shift his weight restlessly.

Ronny glared at him and whispered. "Man, stop the shuffling, or the girls will detect us!"

Ashamed, Peter tried to hide his growing erection, but the other boy had already noticed it. Ronny snickered and said in a low voice, "Little Pete has a hard-on. Hey, boy, what's the matter with you? Don't you have any discipline?"

Peter gritted his teeth. Humiliated, he noticed the familiar feeling of heat taking residence up in his face. "Shut up."

Ronny didn't relent. He kept on mocking. "Don't tell me, you've never had sex with a girl."

Peter felt more heat spreading out on his cheeks. He knew the blush would tell Ronny everything he needed to know.

"Aw, I forgot. You're a poor orphan. You've probably never seen a topless girl before," Ronny continued maliciously.

The teasing was too much for Peter to endure. He jumped to his feet and started running down the small path leading back to the road. He didn't react to the girls' scared cries that quickly became angry, nor did he react to Ronny's shout for him to stop.

Peter ran as fast as he could, jumping over the roots and other obstacles in his path. Tears of shame ran down his cheeks as his heart thudded in an unnatural beat and his lungs burned from lack of oxygen. As he reached the unfortified road leading into the forest, he stopped and doubled over, holding the stitch in his side and gasped for breath.

Minutes later, a beefy hand landed on his shoulder, spinning him around. "Are you crazy to run off like that? What were you thinking? Were you thinking at all?" a very angry Ronny shouted at him.

Shooting Ronny a defiant glare, Peter freed himself from the grasp with a short twist of his body.

"Just leave me the hell alone!" he shouted back.

Peter whirled round and stomped off in the direction of his foster home, determined to get away from his 'supposed' friend as fast as possible. He was still hurting from Ronny's merciless ribbing. There was no way he could face the older boy now without attacking him.
Ronny wasn't about to give in. He followed Peter and grabbed his arm. "Don't even think about it, buddy. You can't go back home. The moment you enter Blaisdell's house, your precious father will know that something's happened. It'll be written all over your face. You never can hide anything. And knowing you…you'll break down and tell him everything!" he yelled.

Peter yanked his arm free once more. He stared at the taller boy with blazing eyes, daring him to touch him again. "He's my foster father," he growled.

Ronny stepped back, looking startled by Peter's reaction, then his expression turned hard. Emphasizing each word, he said, "Peter, just listen for a minute. What do you think will happen if your foster father finds out? He'll send you back to the orphanage so fast your head'll be spinning. Or he'll send you directly to jail and throw away the key."

Peter blanched. Ronny's words had hit home. What if Ronny was right? He'd come to live with the Blaisdell's nearly a year ago, but he still felt insecure. In secret, he had always feared they would send him back if he slipped up. He'd tried to be good all the time, and worked hard to avoid doing anything that would make Paul or Annie angry, but this time… Well, he'd messed up big time - and he knew it. However, it was way too late to change things now. The harm was already done.

"This is not your concern," Peter finally managed to choke out, unconsciously imitating the speech pattern of his deceased father.

"It is, you idiot! The girls will identify you! They didn't see me when I snuck away, but they saw you. You can't go back to the Blaisdells!"

It never occurred to Peter that Ronny was just trying to save his own hide. He believed every single word, not noticing the blatant lie. 'You can't go back,' kept repeating over and over again in his mind. He lost track of what Ronny was saying. Not even when there was a contented smile spreading out on the other boy's lips, he noticed something wrong. Trembling like a leaf in the wind, Peter turned around and fled into the forest.

***

Peter had no idea how long he'd raced through the forest. The stitch in his side was killing him and his face burned from several scratches he got when he hadn't bothered to notice the tree branches as he ran. Yet, he hadn't run far enough. The sight - a small brook, fed by an even smaller waterfall - was very familiar to him. He wasn't even surprised to see his wild flight had taken him directly to his secret place.

Defeated, Peter crouched down beside the brook. He splashed cold water in his face to ease the stinging in his cheeks, and then his gaze was drawn to the slowly flowing water. Mesmerized, he stared at the rippling surface.

Distorted faces appeared in the water. They were the faces of his three female classmates, looking accusingly at him. Peter gasped and blinked. The apparition didn't disappear. The faces shifted into the faces of Kelly and Carolyn. His own sisters might have been among the girls they'd spied on. The very thought sliced through his heart like a searing knife.

"NO!" he shouted, and slammed both fists into the water with a blend of shame and rage, nearly falling into the brook before he caught himself.

The faces were now gone, but not the tormenting thoughts. Peter sat back with his arms pulled tightly around his knees, his head resting on his arms, and he let the tears flow.

*What do I do? Pop, what do I do now? Please help me…*

It was several long minutes later before Peter calmed down. With trembling hands, he brushed the last tears from his face.

*Father, if I only knew what to do.*

His mind wandered back to his time in the temple and he remembered a similar incident. Xiang, a boy his age, had stolen chewing gum from a shop in the town. Peter's father, Kwai Chang Caine, had discovered the theft as they'd left the shop. Peter couldn't recall exactly what had happened to the boy afterwards, only that he'd been punished. However, he remembered the talk with his father vividly as he'd tried to understand why Xiang had stolen.

---

"Peter, I need to speak with you."

Peter's head kept trying to get a glimpse of Xiang, but the boy had left with Old Ping Hai.

"Father, why did Xiang steal?"

Caine shrugged. "I do not know, my son."

"But there has to be an explanation. Didn't you ask him?"

"I did ask him, Peter. He did not know why he stole the item. His path is clouded, he is the only one who can find the key to his conscience."

"What do you want to tell me, Father?"

"For everything, there is a reason, my son."

"I still don't understand. How can he be punished if he doesn't even know why he did it?"

"We are always responsible for our actions, my son. When you do something wrong, you must suffer the consequences."

---

The sound of a breaking branch jerked Peter out of his flashback. He looked down at his hands, wondering what he should do. Finally, he pushed himself up from the water. A shudder raced through his body as new tears threatened to fall. No, he couldn't hide from the world any longer. It was time to face the consequences of his actions. Peter marched toward the Blaisdell's home with determination.

He had barely stepped out from the forest underbrush when the sound of an approaching vehicle made him turn around. Peter blanched as he recognized the car. It was Paul's silver sedan.

*It's too soon. I'm not ready yet. What'll I tell him?*

In a flurry of emotions, there was a sudden realization that his actions had gone beyond getting him in trouble, but that they also affected Paul. If one of his kids landed in jail, it certainly wouldn't help Blaisdell's career or reputation. After all, Paul had just been promoted to captain of the 101st precinct in Chinatown two months ago. Peter remembered the promotion celebration and how happy Paul had been all too well. Paul had given a short speech, thanking everyone for joining in celebrating his promotion. Among other things, he'd talked about the importance of his family to him, and how proud he was of his wife and children. It'd been the first and only time, when Peter had truly believed he belonged to the Blaisdell family. It was a feeling he thought he never wanted to lose, but it was long gone now.

And how had he returned Paul's trust? He'd gotten into all kinds of trouble and perhaps damaged Paul's career in the process. Paul had always treated him as if he were his biological child. No, he didn't deserve this wonderful family. He should not be here, he should hide somewhere, far away from anyone who might care for him. One more glance at Paul and Peter knew it was too late to run again.

Shoulders slumped, Peter watched Paul climb out of the car. He was accompanied by another man, one Peter had never seen before. The stranger was smaller than Paul and slightly heavier. Despite the heat, he wore a black suit, a red tie and green sunglasses. Although there was a white streak on the right side of the black hair, he looked much younger than Paul and as they approached, Peter noticed that the dark-clad man limped.

Both men stopped in front of Peter and seconds of silence stretched to eternity. As Peter looked up to meet Paul's gaze, the captain started to talk. "Peter, what are you doing here all alone? I thought you went to meet Ronny."

"Yes…I…we…," Peter stammered, stopping helplessly in mid-sentence.

Paul's eyes narrowed. "I got a call from the precinct on my way back from the airport. There was a very upset call from a parent who wanted to talk with me. He said," Paul paused as his ice blue eyes penetrated Peter's soul, "…his daughter and two other girls were being watched by two boys at his private property that included a cabin and a lake in the woods. Do you know anything about that?"

Peter averted his gaze, flinching at the edge in Paul's voice. "Yes, sir," he said in a small voice.

"I didn't hear you, son. Look at me when you're talking to me."

As Peter raised his head, a single tear slid down his cheek. "Yes, sir," he repeated a little louder.

Paul crossed his arms in front of his chest. Steel blue eyes sought his hazel ones, looking for answers, but only found more questions. "And? Can you tell me more?"

Peter gulped. "Y…yes sir. It was me."

"Voyeurism and trespassing on private property is a crime. I thought I taught you better," Paul said sternly with a hint of sadness in his voice.

"I…I'm sorry, Paul…sir."

Paul took a deep breath, exchanging a glance with the other man. The stranger merely shrugged with a ghost of a smile playing on his lips. "The hormones, Paul, the hormones."

Paul sighed. "Get in the car, Peter. We'll talk at home."

***

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