It was just an ordinary day in May. There was nothing
to indicate that this wonderful morning, would turn out to be any different
then the others. But for Kermit Griffin, former mercenary and now detective at the 101st precinct in Chinatown, it would become a day he would remember for the rest of his life. The reason was a small bet he and another detective,
Peter Caine, made with Jody Powell and Mary Margaret Skalany while they
were both feeling a little drunk. Once again he thought back to that fateful evening.
It was a warm Thursday evening. He had managed
to decrypt a code at work and he felt very good. They were having a friendly conversation until the mood suddenly changed. The subject of computers and the Internet came up. This was a subject in which Kermit was a master. He knew everything there was to know about computers, and he felt pretty confident that he and Peter would win this particular bet. Jody had claimed there was a site on the net which meticulously listed all the adventures, that he and Peter had gone through. Kermit shook his head and laughed at her remark.
The conversation became more and more heated. Jody
stubbornly proclaimed that the site existed while Kermit, being absolutely
sure of himself, said it didn't. Jody had glared at him with a snaky gleam in her eyes and declared, "So, if you are both so sure this site doesn't exist, how about a little bet?" However, games of chance like these had never been
Kermit's favorite hobby, but before he could get a word in edgewise, Peter
had interfered with his big mouth. Kermit abruptly shook his head. Skalany leaned over him and said loudly enough so that everyone in the small bar heard her, "What's the problem? You are so sure you know everything about computers and now you're afraid that you could lose the bet? Is the master, Kermit Griffin only a little coward who wouldn't even dare accept a tiny bet against the allegedly weaker sex?" There was a deep silence through the room because
of what Skalany said. Kermit's hands twitched. If there hadn't been so many spectators around, he would have strangled Skalany without hesitation, due to this impudent remark. He refused to believe that she had dared to speak to him in such a manner. Apart from the fact that she played with her life - she had put him in a somewhat difficult position. Peter nudged him softly with his elbow in the ribs
and laughed. *Kid, you are lucky I don't break your arm,* Kermit
thought in response. Voices got loud from all sides. Some firm, some
only as a little peep. These were the ones who had their experiences with
a furious Kermit Griffin. Finally Kermit realized there was only one way to get out of this mess without making a fool of himself. He had to accept the bet! His gruffly "Bet's on," started an exuberant dance of joy of the others in the bar Suspiciously, he stared at the everyone around him. He always got distrustful when a crowd reacted like this. For him it seemed as if everyone had knowledge of what had happened, except him and Peter. And he, as well as Peter, were pushed in a fairly sophisticated trap. He had to admit, his colleagues all had good reasons to pull a trick on him. He wasn't known for handling his coworkers considerately. This was one of the many reasons why he had an office of his own. And Peter, well, he was now part of it, too, thanks to his big flap. The strong feeling tightened as somebody coincidentally
pulled a laptop out of a bag. A little while later on, Jody triumphantly showed
him the website bargained in the bet. Grimly he decided to destroy this website for ever
and ever the very next morning. How could these people dare write about
everything he and Peter had experienced? Could this be true? Jody couldn't pretend not to be totally satisfied and said cheerfully, "Well, we have won the bet. You and Peter are at our mercy now. Make sure you arrive at the 101st on time tomorrow, then you will find out what you'll have to do." Only Kermit knew how close Jody was to her death. It was not often that he had to fight so hard to keep his hands to himself, and not to put them around the neck of a certain person. All he could do at this very moment was to grin and bear it. He of all people, the great Kermit Griffin, had
been lead up the garden path! He didn't feel well at the thought of what
he would have to expect tomorrow. *end flashback*
On the way to his car, Kermit wished for the first time in a very, very long time that he had not relinquished his dangerous work as a mercenary. A little birdie whispered to him, that it was probably safer there than at the 101st at the moment. Sighing Kermit put the ignition key into the lock
of his beloved Corvair. If he only could think of something to get himself
out of this wager, but he had no chance of escaping from it.
Barely 20 minutes later Kermit entered the 101st.
Inconspicuously he looked around. Jody and Skalany came up to meet him with a smug
grin. They seemed to feel absolutely safe amid all the officers who they
knew would give them backup. "Good morning Kermit, glad to see that you're
on time," Skalany greeted him cheerfully. Neither Jody nor Skalany seemed to be upset by his rude manner. Skalany swung a big white shopping bag in front of his nose. "What's that?" Kermit asked against his
will. Taken by surprise at her smug manner, Kermit followed
Peter, Skalany and Jody into his office. As soon as everyone had entered the narrow office,
Skalany closed the door which fell with a silent click into the lock.
Not, that Kermit wouldn't succeed in leaving if
he wanted to. It was a well know fact that nothing and nobody could hold
him back if he was determined to do something. Kermit jerked back from his thoughts as Peter said, "So, don't be so secretive Jody. What's in this bag?" Kermit's attention turned to the desk on which
Jody had placed the bag. Both, he and Peter, slowly stepped as one towards
the desk, while Jody quickly went in the opposite direction. It was Peter, who reached for the bag, turned it
over and dumped the contents on the desk. Kermit and Peter were speechless, they stared open mouthed at the garments which lay in front of them. Laughter resounded from the door. Kermit whirled around to face the two women. His eyes burned furiously, the glow could be seen despite his dark glasses. "Don't you dare take one photo or I swear, as truly as I am standing here, I will free the world of your existence once and for all! If you think that I would put any of that crap on, then you are thoroughly mistaken," he rumbled. At his intonation Peter retracted spontaneously,
his head hung down between his shoulders. "Oh my! Kermit, you both lost this bet and now you must live with the consequences," Skalany replied. "The hell I have to," Kermit growled. With a voice soft like honey Jody interjected, "Kermit, betting debts are debts of honor. If you don't fulfill your bet now, then it means that you don't have any honor in your body. And everyone at the 101st will know. Besides, Peter hasn't complained!" Only with a lot of effort was Peter able to restrain
Kermit. The two women winced this time, too. Primarily because of how this certain vein began to tap at his forehead. That was always a sign of highest alert and great danger. "Come on Kermit. You don't want to go off
a woman," Peter tried to soothe his friend and colleague and placed
a reassuring hand on his shoulder. Peter tried to defuse the situation completely
by simply babbling further. Jody folded the arms in front of her chest and replied, "Well, we really don't demand much. You get yourselves changed. Your names are pinned to every garment, so you know whose dress is whose, then you go outdoors and wash our cars. That's it." "No way," Kermit interjected. The tone of his voice could have cut steel. Peter also protested loudly now. The two women whispered to each other briefly and
debated the issue. Kermit breathed in sharply. He felt as if his worst
nightmares were coming true at this very moment. Only one question remained. Did they want to lose
the respect of their fellow officers? Or, did they make themselves the
mockery of the whole squad, who by the way, couldn't wait for the show?
Several minutes passed in silence. Over and over
the looks of the two men wandered on to the strange garments in front
of their eyes and then back to the two women who blocked their escape
route. Finally Peter surrendered with a sigh. The two women grinned like a Cheshire cat. "I will get you, you can depend on it. And then you will curse the day, that you were born," Kermit threatened the two women instead of giving his consent. His threat fell flat in mid air. With quiet laughter and an impudent "See ya later," the two women closed Kermit's office door behind themselves, obviously totally unimpressed by his mood.
Almost ten minutes later, Kermit's office door
opened in slow motion. Peter was the first to appear in the door. A clearly
miserable expression on his face. "If someone dares to laugh, then I will stuff the Eagle into his throat so deeply, that it will reappear on the other side," he threatened brusquely. The laughter immediately died. Of course, he couldn't prevent most of his colleagues from trying to hide their grins behind their hands. He noticed one person hide behind the back of one of his colleagues and another one bent to pick up a pen, Kermit knew was intentionally dropped, to give this person a good hiding place to conceal his laughter. However, he also realized that because he and Peter must have been a ridiculous sight to behold, it was difficult to stay serious. Jody and Skalany had obviously gone through a lot of trouble picking out their dresses. "Look, I told you it would fit, I have a trained
eye," Jody whispered in Skalany's ear. Peter was subjected to a thorough going over first. "He doesn't have bad looking legs but I'm
really curious to see what his rear end is going to look like," Then it was Kermit's turn to be scrutinized. Skalany's look rested on Kermit's legs which were, unlike Peter's, rather hairy and slightly bowlegged. His black hair shone in glaring contrast to the bright green of the Bobby-socks. "Well, Kermit, maybe you should have thought to shave your legs this morning, too," Skalany burst out dryly, not able to hold her comment back anymore. Complete silence followed Skalany's remark, but
a few seconds later, despite Kermit's previous threat, the whole bull
pen broke into roaring laughter. Neither Peter nor Kermit knew how to react in this
situation. He decided to get the walk around the bull pen over as fast as possible, glad that the Eagle was kept safe in his drawer. This time, he wouldn't have taken any bet that said he wouldn't have used it on all the faces of his fellow cops who looked at him amused and grinning broadly. *How could I let myself involve in this mess?* he complained to himself. His first involuntary stop after a few meters was
at Blake's desk. He felt his left ankle twist, and at the last second he was able to latch onto Blake's desk, whereby his skirt, because of the sudden movement, fluttered all the way up his leg to his hip. At this moment, he revealed a secret of which many of his colleagues already had racked their brains. Yes, the gloomy, dangerous and mysterious Kermit Griffin truly wore green underwear. And the best part was: a picture of Kermit the frog was imprinted on the back. Chin, who had the desk next to Blake's, whistled
lewdly through his teeth at the sight before them. He couldn't help it. It slipped out as soon as
he saw Kermit the frog on the back of the underwear. Kermit threw Chin a look of death. Kermit hauled himself up with a somber expression, more determined than ever to get this roundabout journey over as fast as possible. Above all, he prayed that nothing else would happen to embarrass him further. * If I had only washed my laundry earlier, than I wouldn't have had to put Mitch's present on. Well, at least I can tell her I really did wear them. I have enough witness to back me up. I'm sure they would all be more than happy to tell her how cute Kermit the frog looked on me!* he rebuked himself. His intimidating appearance usually was enough to make everyone leaving him alone, but in this situation, everyone seemed to have lost their respect for him. Lewd remarks flew from all sides.
Blake waited until Kermit had walked a few feet
from his desk. Then he winked at Chin and opened his hand. Chin silently mouthed the words, "Do you have
everything?" To see Kermit and Peter wandering around the bull pen in woman clothes, was certainly a moment which Blake felt had to be saved for all eternity. One thing Blake knew for certain was that everyone would be scrambling to get a copy of these photos, especially the one of Kermit wearing his "special" underwear.
In the meantime Peter had decided to go in the
opposite direction of Kermit. Strenlich looked at Peter from head to toe, a huge
grin formed on his lips. Peter was silent. For the first time in a rather
long time he was rendered completely speechless. Suddenly he heard Blake shout so the whole bull
pen could hear him. This caused a renewed outburst of laughter. There was nothing else left for Peter to do, but
go forward amid the laughter of his colleagues. "Gee Peter, I have to admit, you clearly have a feminine quality about yourself," Jody teased. Instead of dignifying her comment with an answer, Peter whirled around swaying on the high heels, giving them a clear view of his rear end before stalking off. Skalany nudged Jody softly with her elbow and whispered in her ear, "See, I told you, he has a cute scar right under his rear end." Jody broke out in uncontrolled giggles. She knew
exactly what Mary Margaret meant. She thought back to the story of the
bakery. Peter had taken off all of his clothes to confuse a killer. Skalany
couldn't wait to tell her all about it. She had described the scene to
her in very vivid detail! Peter approached the two again on unsafe legs. "Uh, Skalany just told me something I found funny," Jody tried to pull herself out of this mess. "Oh, so I'm supposed to believe that you aren't laughing at me?" Jody hid her laughter behind a cough. Peter's nerves were frayed. It wasn't bad enough, that he had made a fool out of himself in these clothes, now he had to endure every detective in the squad room laughing at him. "The hell with this!" he yelled, "I clearly can feel your eyes staring at my....." Jody interrupted him in the middle of the sentence. She had spotted someone standing in the background and briskly interjected, "Peter, before you say another word, please turn around." Peter turned wavering on his heels. In all the time that he knew his father, this was the first time that his face lost some of its stoic composedness. The corners of his mouth twitched upwards, until even his colleagues noticed how difficult it was for his father to stay in control. They felt his willpower wavering as he tried not to laugh out loud at the view of his son, standing in front of him dressed like a woman. "D...Dad," he croaked. "W...w...what are you doing here?" Peter
stuttered. "I... wanted to pick you up for lunch, but you and Kermit ... seem ... ah ... to be occupied," his father replied obviously straining to keep himself under control. "I..I...I...," Peter was speechless. Caine shrugged in his famous manner and replied, "I will go now." With these words he turned round and rushed toward
the exit. A few seconds later, loud laughter resounded in front of the door of the 101st. Everyone in the squad room heard it, including Peter.
For Peter and Kermit this was the signal they needed
to get over the rest of the tour. Barely two minutes later Peter closed Kermit's office door with a relieved sigh, and immediately stripped the shoes from his feet. Relief and shame alternated in Peter's face. Relief because his ordeal was finally over, but shame because his father had laughed so loud about him, that all his fellow detectives heard. That he simply couldn't forget. He had quickly come to terms with everything. All
the mocking comments of his colleagues, the drooling looks of the women,
but he was having a hard time with the knowledge that his father had seen
him dressed like that. Peter sat on Kermit's desk chair and hid his head
between his hands. Kermit, who was hurrying to change his clothes
stopped briefly. "If I only had known that," Peter moaned once more. Kermit merely shrugged. "But my father," Peter interjected. "He is a Shambala master. He certainly has seen worse than your butt in a miniskirt," Kermit commented dryly. Peter's depression suddenly changed into anger. Kermit turned toward Peter and removed his sunglasses.
"Don't worry about that, kid. They are all on my list. Our revenge will come and believe me, it will be really ugly!" The longer Peter stared in Kermit's expressive eyes, the more his features changed as well. Soon his grin was as diabolical as Kermit's. "You already have something up your sleeve," Peter stated. "Oh yeah," Kermit merely answered, "oh yeah!" The end
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