"Are you punks in trouuuuuble!"

Kwai Chang Caine sighed. "Do you *always* have to play 'Dirty Harry'?"

"I'm not!" Kat grinned malevolently. "I'm playing Kermit the Frog!"

"Let me *try* to talk to them - please?"

"Be my guest."

KC approached the puzzled and amused thugs carefully. "Hello, there," he greeted.

"'Hello there'?"

KC threw a glare over his shoulder. "Do you MIND!" Kat shrugged, not the least bit apologetic. "Now, then, as I was saying....If you give us back the money you took, we won't turn you in."

"Speak for yourself."

KC ignored her. "Just give us the money. You have chosen the wrong path-"

Kat rolled her eyes. "Heeeere we go again...."

The leader of the thugs swaggered up to the earnest young man. "Getouddahere, Junior."

"I'm not leaving without the money you took," KC told him firmly. "That is an undisputed fact. Once you accept that-"

The thug pushed the kid...and found himself on the floor.

"Finally!" Kat began to dart forward but KC raised his hand. "Oh, come on," she protested. "They swung first!"

"And I defended myself," KC told her. "Will you please just....Sirs, we really don't want to hurt you."

"*I* want to hurt you!" Kat said, her green eyes sparkling.

"Just give us back-"

KC backpedaled as three thugs suddenly leaped toward them, knives gleaming and chains swinging.

"YES!" Kat crowed.

Within a few short minutes, all the thugs found themselves seeing stars.

"I'm really sorry," KC said regretfully as Kat went through their pockets and found the missing money. "I *did* warn you...."

"You kids...can't be more than...than...." a thug mumbled.

"She's fifteen and I'm thirteen and a half," KC informed them helpfully.

"They don't care how old we are!" Kat said, exasperated. "Come on, let's return this money-"

"Not so fast, kiddies."

The two teenagers turned to see a tall man with a gun pointed at them.

"DAMN!" Kat exclaimed, heart pounding. Unobtrusively, she looked around for a makeshift weapon she could throw.

"Just think about what you're doing, sir," KC pleaded. He was wracking his brain, trying to think of a way to distract the man before Kat got hurt.

"Don't even try it," the man warned. "Throw the money down on the ground."

Grumbling, Kat complied. Her heart began to pound, though, when the man approached them like a rabid wolf. "Now-AIYYY!" The man screamed as the gun suddenly flew out of his hand and a figure from the shadows came out and wrapped an arm around the startled man's throat. Seconds later, he was on the ground.

Kat winced. This was going to be worse than the danger the man had threatened.

"You are in SO much trouble, Kitty Kat," a familiar voice said behind her, the Desert Eagle smoking from the discharge.

"So whose idea was it to take on this...endeavor alone?" the other familiar figure demanded of his son.

The two teenagers looked at each other and chorused, "Uhhhmmmmmmm...."

Kermit Griffin and Peter Caine looked at each other and sighed.

Kat began to squirm. KC stood beside his longtime childhood friend, soaking up the disapproval he felt coming in waves from his father. For Kat's part, she resorted on the mode of operation that had served her well for the past fifteen years with her father and began her campaign to finesse her way around the truth.

"Daaaaddy...what were we supposed to do? They robbed Mr. Lee, took off, and we were right there! He's such a sweet old man. There was only four of them. We couldn't just let-"

"STOP RIGHT THERE!" her father snapped. "That eyelash-batting doesn't get you out of this! You ever heard of 911? Oh, no! Not you. I hope you realize what might have happened if Mr. Lee hadn't CALLED us! As if I didn't have enough grey hair already...!" Kermit Griffin was furious. He didn't know whether to spank her or hug her. The former was winning.

Peter Caine stepped up to both the guilty parties. "To quote someone who will be *extremely* angry when he hears about this," he said, firmly grabbing KC by the collar, "'I agree with your motives but not your methods!'"

"Oh, yeah, right, Uncle Peter. I've heard ALL about your record about waiting for backup."

"You're *supposed* to learn from our mistakes," Kermit snapped. "You think I've been telling you those stories for MY health!?"

"Come on, Daddy, we're GOOD. You know we are," Kat wheedled. "Everyone always tells us so. After all, you, Uncle Peter and Caine have been training us since we were...knee high to a grasshopper!" She flashed a sparkling grin at KC at that reference as if to say 'got'em with that one!'

"Evidently, Tadpole, you missed the point of all those lessons AND need a lesson in humility besides. In lieu of this fact, you will spend the next ten lessons in meditation only."

"What!?!" they shouted in unison.

"You didn't hear me?" Peter grinned.

"And I'm letting your mother decide what else happens to you when we get home," Kermit contributed.

Kat's mouth dropped open. Her mother couldn't be *handled* like Daddy. She was a professional in the field. "Oh, shit!"

"What was that!?"

"Nothing, Daddy." Humility would be her only salvation. "I'm sorry. Really. But it's not KC's fault," she pleaded, looking over at Peter. "I'll take all the blame. Just me."

"Wait a minute! I was there. I was the one who started the fight. If anyone should take the blame, it's me. I was protecting her, Pop."

Suddenly, Kat's face turned red. "Protecting me!!! You little bean sprout! If I hadn't been there, your head would be a memory! Protect me...I never!"

"SHUT UP!" shouted Peter Caine. Then, calmly, he continued, "Though I do appreciate the shared martyr-dom, you are BOTH equally in the crapper!" Turning to KC, he snapped, "And don't call me POP!"

Kermit grabbed Kat's arm and noticed her bloody knuckles. "Let me see that." He examined her hand and found it wouldn't need medical attention. "Kitty Kat, I don't get it," he muttered, tying a handkerchief around her hand, "Private school, ballet, music lessons. You've got the wrappings of a lady but you insist on-"

"Seeking truth, justice, and the American way! Just like you."

"-behaving like Dirty Harriet. Get in the car." As he herded a temporarily-meek Katherine Griffin to the car, he turned back to his partner. "You'll take care of the money?"

KC helpfully picked up the money and handed it to his father, who grabbed it, frowning. "Yes," he told Kermit. "See you after the fireworks."

Kermit just shook his head as he put his daughter in the car and headed home.

Halfway there, he reached over and pulled his daughter into a hug he'd been holding back for the past fifteen minutes. "And to believe I couldn't wait until you could walk and talk so I could teach you all my tricks. Your mother warned me. Now, we're both in the doghouse, Kitty Kat."

Kat just snuggled in under her father's arm, enjoying the closeness, as they drove on to face Mrs. Griffin.

*****

KC looked up at his father, face full of remorse. More than anything, he wanted to please him...and to be just like him. "Po...Dad, I'm sorry. I just thought I could handle it. It's not her fault."

Peter Caine gave in to his urge and hugged his son. "I know. I remember." He kissed the top of KC's dark head. "Let's return this money."

The conversation with Mr. Lee was brief but Peter had to refuse when Mr. Lee was VERY insistent on giving KC a reward. The LAST thing Peter wanted was to reward KC for his impulsive behavior. He got off on a technicality, explaining that, as a Shaolin student, he was forbidden to take rewards.

They began the short walk home. "Kwai Chang," Peter began, running a hand through his hair. "Your Uncle Kermit is RIGHT! I know I did a lot of the things you're doing now, but the reason we told you our 'war stories' was precisely so you wouldn't do the same thing!"

"I know."

"I cannot emphasize how important it is to THINK FIRST! I know Kat has a temper and I've seen yours. That's all the more reason to stand back before you leap and really think first about what you're going to do!"

"I know."

"Don't just keep saying 'I know'!" Peter snapped. He sighed, deciding he had better drop the lecture until he calmed down. He then frowned, remembering something else. "Terrific - I'm probably going to spend a whole week watching your grandfather try not to chuckle out loud at me for having a kid just like me. Thanks a lot!" He hugged him again to let him know the gripe wasn't serious. "Dammit, KC, just be...just be careful, will you?!?"

KC inclined his head. Nobody could out-guilt a Shaolin. Nobody! "I'm sorry, Dad."

*****

The young man's head hit the floor with a thud. Scrambling to avoid another blow, he crawled away from his attacker.

"YOU IDIOT! I send you to shake down one old man and you let a couple of kids interfere! Worthless piece of...." Clarence Choi kicked the man in the ribs as he balled up on the floor.

The other man stood nervously shifting from one foot to the other. Grateful that his cohort was bearing the physical brunt of their boss's anger. His turn would be next. In an attempt to explain, he jumped in, "Boss, it wasn't like that. Those two came in during the exchange. Thought it was a robbery. They got some kind of training! Man...never saw anybody fight like that. We couldn't lay a hand on 'em."

Clarence abandoned his attack for the moment and turned his attention to the puny excuses stacking up in front of him. "That supposed to get you off the hook?"

"Well, no, boss...uh...well." Thinking quickly, he added, "Might have turned it around if those other guys hadn't shown up."

"What other guys?"

"Some guy with glasses and this cannon. Shot Mack's gun right outta his hand. And the other one...that Caine guy who teaches the Kung Fu classes."

Clarence's blood pressure began to rise. Bon Bon Hai had left him in control of the area. Cementing their influence would require a variety of intimidation. The first step was to control the businesses. Get the shopkeepers shaking in their shoes and the rest would follow. That Shaolin would stand in the way. He'd expected that sooner or later. And the other one...that Griffin. He'd dealt with him before, also. They would have to be handled...swiftly.

"Boss, I think one of those kids...think the boy called her 'Kat'...called the guy with the shades 'Daddy.'" Providing information might save his ass. The man continued to twitch.

"DADDY?! What was the other one's name?"

"KC, I think." A glimmer of relief. The boss was smiling.

"KC....Kwai Chang!" Clarence threw back his head and laughed out loud. This was too good to be true. The road to success loomed before him. The soft underbelly of his enemies. Their children. "Well, my man. You may have a chance to redeem yourself."

Clarence slapped the nervous thug on the back and directed him to a chair.

*****

Mr. Lee jumped at the sound of the telephone. Dread of the impending contact had followed him all afternoon. The two children had thought themselves his defenders. He had known them all their lives. Decent, honorable, and brave. Qualities he now found sorely lacking in himself...and his neighbors.

Grabbing the receiver, he timidly answered, "Hello."

"My dear Mr. Lee. It seems our transaction was interrupted this afternoon. My associates were relieved of your weekly fee and it was returned to you, was it not?" Clarence paused to absorb the feel of the old man squirming.

"I am so very sorry. Those children....they thought...well, they were not acting under my request...I...uh..."

"Well, I'm a forgiving man. My associates will return within the hour to complete this week's transaction. And be careful that the 'Boy Scouts' are nowhere to be found. You would do well to remember - and remind your neighbors - that my forgiveness IS limited." Clarence slammed down the phone and laughed himself breathless.

*****

"She did WHAT?!" Savannah Griffin's tone was like ice. So much so, that Kermit and Kat winced, expressions almost identical. "Kat, go to your room."

"Mom, can I at least-"

"NOW."

She gifted her father with a kiss before heading upstairs, deciding that it wouldn't be prudent to go within arm's reach of her mother right now.

Savannah glared at Kermit as she heard the door close. "I see she's still got YOU wrapped around her little finger."

"Scarlett, I yelled her head off when I got there-"

"Uh huh. THAT much is obvious," she snapped, sarcasm flowing.

"All right, so I couldn't stand it any longer," he confessed. "God...I saw that guy going for her and my heart just...stopped. I know intellectually she's been trained to take care of herself. But seeing it is a whole other matter....I don't think I'm ready for this...."

Savannah couldn't stand it any longer, either. She went to him, wrapping her arms around him. "I don't think we'll ever be ready for this," she comforted. Thinking of something, she suddenly batted him on the arm, saying, "Of course, YOU didn't help matters any-"

"I know, I know." Kermit, attempting to soften Kat's impending torture with a memory, said, "BUT...I seem to remember a similar situation that you, my dear, were a part of a few years ago...."

"Kermit," she replied, snapping her hands to her hips, "that doesn't have anything to do with-!"

Dropping down at the kitchen table, Kermit began to laugh at the memory. "I get a call at the precinct: 'Detective Griffin, your wife has been involved in an armed robbery at the Galleria.' I go racing down there to find you sitting on top of the perp who stole Kat's fourth grade bake sale money!"

"Kermit...that was diff-!"

"I can still hear him. 'Get this crazy bitch off me!' Tackled him right in the middle of the mall!"

"Kermit!"

"As I recall, they voted you Queen of the P.T.A. after that," he reminisced, wiping his eyes and waiting for her reaction.

Temporarily distracted from the victim waiting upstairs, Savannah replied, "Holy Annointed Empress, thank you. And that was *different*! I'm an adult. She's a child."

"She's a young adult," Kermit corrected. "And she's just like yo...us."

"Well, I suppose we should discuss punishment - for her. We'll talk about YOUR punishment later."

"Peter's already sentenced them to 10 lessons of meditation," Kermit informed her. "I've already told her that she'll have to abide by whatever you think best as an addition. Come to think of it, that's a punishment in of itself-"

"Oh, no, you don't, Kermit Griffin! I swear, you'd defend her if she stole the moon!"

With that, Savannah stomped upstairs to deal with her daughter.

*****

Savannah paused in front of her daughter's door. Taking a deep breath, she knocked.

"Hold on a minute....COME IN!"

Noticing the phone cord trailing from the bedstand to under Kat's bed covers, Savannah calmly retrieved the receiver and spoke into it. "KC, precious, I'm SO terribly sorry to interrupt whatever plan you two were hatchin' but your partner in crime is about to get her butt kicked. Tell your father and grandfather I said hello."

Hanging up, she turned her attention to her child. "Katherine Marie Griffin! Do you have a brain in your head or is it full of cotton?!! Do you even realize that you could have been killed?!! KC could have been killed!!"

"But, Mom! We didn't have a...."

"Choice. Yes, you did. Contrary to what you think, you are a CHILD. Not a P.I., not a mercenary, not a cop, and NOT Bruce Lee!" Pacing the room with clenched fists, she complained, "Child, sometimes I think your sole purpose in life is to give me a HEADACHE!"

Kat's temper was beginning to boil, too. She hated being referred to as a 'child' and she hated being lectured. "Well, maybe if Paul hadn't died, you'd have the perfect child you wanted!"

Savannah gasped and fell silent. Immediately sorry, Kat jumped up and embraced her mother. "Mama!" she wailed, referring to her mother in the term she used only in private, "God, I'm sorry...I didn't mean it...I'm so sorry...." She held on tight, feeling her mother shaking, absolutely distraught that she had said such a terrible thing to make her mother miserable.

Savannah, getting a grip on her emotions, stroked Kat's hair. "I know you didn't," she quietly comforted. "It's all right." The painful loss had returned. Even after eight long years, it still hurt. She was only glad that she had been the one to hear that instead of Kermit. Paul's death had come close to nearly shattering him for good. The only thing that had prevented it was....She pulled her daughter back to face her. "Do you know how much we love you? How much we adore you? DO you? If we lost you, too, the world would stop turning." Hugging her close once again, she concluded, "And, by the way, you're grounded for three weeks...with the exception of your meditation with KC and Uncle Peter."

With her head still buried in her mother's shoulder, she answered, "Fair enough. I love you."

"I love you, too, sugar."

*****

After depositing his son at his father's house, Peter drove to Kermit's home to prepare for their next project. He and Kermit had been working together for the past ten years in a business that was infinitely difficult to define. They did consulting work for various security firms, a little P.I. work, and jumped in on every 'I need help' request that came their way. Police work had become increasingly frustrating for both of them. They could see hands-on results being on their own. No plea bargaining, no deals, no politics.

Their latest project was providing a security plan for an upcoming event in Chinatown. A paying gig. The city was sparing no expense to ensure the safety of the dignetaries. When Peter had balked at getting involved with city government again, Kermit commented, "Just remember, THEY PAY so we can do the freebies." Fair trade.

"Hi there!" Savannah greeted him as he came in through the back door. "How's your little hotshot?"

Peter shrugged as he gave her a peck on the cheek. "Sulking, I think," he told her. "I'm sure he'll perk up when Pop tells him ALL about the hellion *I* was to him. Where's Kermit and the tadpole?"

"Both downstairs in the office. Probably hackin' into the Pentagon," she answered, pointing toward the basement door. "I'm sorry about this afternoon. When those two get together...."

"I know. But I think they'd both wilt away if they had to be apart."

Savannah knew that Peter was right. When Paul had died, Kat was only seven but felt the loss much stronger than the adults. She'd been so excited to have a baby brother on the way. She'd told her father, "Don't worry, Daddy. I'll teach him *everything* he needs ta' know." Once Paul arrived, jealousy set in. Kat had to give up exclusive rights to her father and that threw her into turmoil. She'd pouted and stormed around, doing anything to pull the attention back toward herself.

After a while, though, Kat mellowed and fell into the role of big sister. No one could get near the baby without Kat's full inspection and approval. When Paul's defective heart condition began to manifest itself at six months, she was beside herself. His condition degenerated rapidly, despite every specialist and treatment. He died before his first birthday. Desperate to fill the void left in her little-girl world, Kat attached herself to KC. Turned him into Paul's replacement. They had been inseparable ever since. Their relationship was further cemented when KC's mother died and KC clung to Kat for desperate support. They supported each other.

KC looked up to his slightly older friend. Kat's volatile nature needed KC's calming influence. Either one was rabid in defense of the other - even though they traded barbs like mortal enemies. Caine had dedicated himself to training them, as if they were both his grandchildren. Where Peter and Kermit frequently had to 'lay down the law' for their obstreperous offspring, Caine had merely to beckon the two, like the Pied Piper, and they would follow his instruction. The two fathers decided amongst themselves that this was *distinctly* unfair.

The combined skills that the pair were amassing from Kermit and Peter were beginning to manifest themselves in a constant stream of trouble. KC and Kat would never bully anyone for pleasure - only for the sake of justice. It was rapidly becoming a problem for their parents.

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