*** Quotations from the Tao Te Ching, written by
Lao-tzu, are from the translation by S. Mitchell.
**Annie.** **Annie.** She stirred at the beloved voice, coming to full
wakefulness as she felt the familiar touch in her mind. "Where are
you? Are you
?" She sat up, straining to hear in the empty night.
**Annie, I'm so sorry
I tried so hard to
finish this so I could come back to you.** "I know, love," She whispered softly
the words she was thinking. **I've thought of you so often this time I've been
away.** "I know, that, Paul," She still whispered,
yet afraid someone would hear. "I've heard you speaking to me. I
knew you were close, even if you were so many miles away." **Annie, remember always that I love you. I wanted
to be here so much; but it was too dangerous. They had to believe you
were not involved, you and Peter and the girls. But now
I'm afraid
** **Paul?** This was a different voice, not Annie
who responded. She could feel Paul's amazement. And then she recognized
the other. **Caine?** It was almost a challenge from Paul.
What was Caine doing in Annie's mind? **You asked me to watch over her, Paul. As I have
done. I felt this new pain in her mind while I was meditating
Why
are you here?** Paul accepted the response and tried again to tell
his wife. **Annie, - my dear heart
but you should be safe. I won't
be back; but I will never be far from you. Believe that!** **Paul!** Caine commanded him to stay. **What about
Kermit? Is he still safe? Did you succeed in finishing your 'complication'?
What you did for my son, I can never repay; but if protection is needed,
I will help.** Caine could feel the other's presence fading as
Paul spoke. **I am so tired. I must go
** *** Annie awoke the next morning with a strong sense
of loss draped carefully with a light odor of closure. She dressed and
came to the kitchen without realizing she was doing so. Her thoughts were
lost in a gray fog tinged with her husband's scent; she simply followed
her feet downstairs. Caine was waiting for her. She greeted him without surprise, accepted his
hug, and walked with him into her kitchen. She thought then to ask, "Why
are you here, Caine?" "You need your friends here now." As he answered her, the fog lifted a little, and
her senses registered the presence of her children, and others. Carolyn, Kelly, and Peter hugged her together at
the entrance to the kitchen and then led her to a chair. As she sat, she
asked: "Why are you all here?" She had just realized that Strenlich
and Kermit were also in the room. Caine said, "Annie, we know about Paul,"
as Kermit and Frank, seated close by, each leaned in to gently take one
of her hands, whispering their condolences. Peter and the girls surrounded
her in a protective embrace, as if they were building a stockade around
her. She leaned back into her children and wept. They
all wept. *** 3 hours before: Kermit popped upright in his bed, gun automatically
retrieved from the pocket in the pillow and aimed at the door. His adrenaline
was pumping as he swung his legs off the bed and slid down into a crouch,
nearly invisible in the darkened room. His gun suddenly disappeared from his hand as an
extremely calm voice repeated his name. He didn't quite hear it as his
legs pushed up and his arm swung to attack. His attempt to rise was thwarted
by the hand on his shoulder and his arm movement was blocked. "Caine?" Finally recognizing the voice,
he immediately ceased his futile attempt to attack. But his heart continued
to race as he put on his neutral, implacable facade. I'm getting too old
for surprises like this! whispered in his mind. "How the hell did
you
?" With Caine's hand now off him, he rose to face
his friend, more than a little curious. "Oh, never mind that. What
is so important that it can't wait until morning?" "Sit down, Kermit. What I have to tell you
will be very hard for you to hear." Kermit sat. Caine said nothing, so Kermit looked
closely at him, and flinched. The man was almost emotional! "Is it about Peter?" Kermit started to
rise again. Caine gestured him back down. "Kermit. It is Paul. He died tonight." Kermit was on his feet. "No!" He paced
two steps from the bed, stopped for two seconds, and slowly turned around.
In that short time, his mercenary instincts took over. Emotions were to
be dealt with later. His expression was back to the closed face he usually
wore. "You woke me to tell me this? Do we need to go after the murderers
right now? No? Then I am going back to sleep. Goodnight. You can see yourself
out as easily as you came in." He started walking toward the bed. "Fine," said Griffin. "Then I'm
going back to bed. You tell Peter and the girls. Wake me when you need
me." He started to get into the bed. "You are needed now." stressed Caine.
"You were Paul's closest friend. Did he not ask you to take care
of Annie? She will need you, if just as a reminder of Paul. We must go
there before she wakes. Also," he repeated, more softly, "We
must go to Peter." Kermit muttered, mostly to himself, "A reminder of Paul? Me? That's not what she needs. And I have no words of comfort for her." But he was getting dressed, apparently without realizing it. "Give me a moment to dress. I'll drive you
to Peter's and then to Annie's--but you can tell Peter alone. He won't
want me there." Caine conceded with a bow of his head. *** With Kermit dressed, they left his apartment and
drove to Peter's, quietly, immersed in their own thoughts. Kermit sat in the car while Caine exited and went
into the building to wake Peter. Now alone, the tears flowed. He would
grieve for Paul, yes. But he would do it alone, damn it, and in his time
and way. He was really going to miss the old man. Meanwhile, Peter was sleeping--alone, since he
was between lovers. Deep in an erotic fantasy, he saw his father appear
in the dream, telling him to wake up. At first, he resented his parent
showing up and interfering with his fun; but the intrusion changed the
flow of the dream and he began to wake up. As he reached the waking state,
he heard the knock at his front door. Groggily he got out of bed, grabbed
a robe, and went to open the door. Still not really awake, he greeted his father with
a combination of disbelief and surprise. "Pop? It's 4 in the morning.
What are you doing here?" As he came to full awareness, he realized
that his father was there, at a very strange time. Fear chilled his thoughts.
"Is there a problem? Are you going away? Do you need a
" His father held up his hand to stop the questions.
"I needed to talk to you and it could not wait." He walked over
to his son and put his hands on Peter's arms, holding him gently. In a
quiet voice, he said, "Paul is dead." Peter recoiled at the words, pulled away from his
father, denying their possibility. "He can't be! Not Paul! "
In spite of his words, he started to weep. He moved rapidly around the
apartment, moving from the table to the train set to face his father again
and back to the table. When he faced his father again, and paused to catch
his breath, Caine pulled him into his embrace. "Paul came to Annie
last night, in her sleep." Peter pulled back a bit, surprised; this time not
leaving the protection of his father's arms, and sputtered through the
tears. "Annie had a bad dream so now you're telling me Paul is dead?
Come off it, Pop." Caine ignored the title; this was not the time
to argue over trivialities. He continued to speak softly, but let some
of his sadness show. "It was not a dream. I was meditating and felt
her cry when he told her. Then I felt his presence." Grief was trying to turn to anger. "Right,
you both had a bad dream. And you expect me to believe a good man is dead?
This is a very bad joke." Peter needed to believe and accept. Caine spoke
more firmly. "This is not a joke, Peter." "I know, you don't tell jokes, Pop, er Dad.
But this is so hard to believe. How can I believe? It just can't be. I
won't believe it." Peter took a deep breath. "How did he die?
Where was he? What was he doing? What do we do now?" "Now we go to Annie." That set Peter off again. "Oh, no! Mom!"
Now he was crying for her, too. Caine wiped Peter's face and pushed him toward
the bathroom. "Wash your face and then get dressed, Peter. Kermit
is waiting for us in his car." Peter stopped and turned around. "You told
Kermit first?" He spun back around and moved into the bathroom, muttering
as he went. "Fine thing! It's my foster father, and he tells Kermit
first!" He raised his voice. "Why did you feel it was necessary
to tell Kermit first?" Peter had gained some control over the tears. He
had washed his face, and was drying it and the tears that still overflowed
from time to time. "I see your point. So you told him and them left
him in the car alone so he didn't have to display his grief? That was
thoughtful, Pop." He heard, "Oh, yeah!" Kermit's answer
to everything. He came down from his bedroom and saw the detective leaning
in the frame of his front doorway. Caine and Peter looked at each other and shrugged
identically. Peter's look to his father said, "This is grieving?"
His father's look back said, "He has had much practice hiding grief." "I do not believe you should be driving. We
will ride with Kermit." As they opened the doors to get in the car, they
noticed two bodies lying against the building. They both looked at their
friend casually sliding behind the steering wheel. He looked at Caine,
"I was resting my eyes; they thought I was easy prey. They were wrong."
At Caine's raised eyebrow, he added, "They are just taking a little
nap; my treat." Caine and Peter closed their doors, Kermit started
the car, and they drove to the Blaisdell residence. Kelly was still living at home, and Carolyn, with
eight-month old Bobby, just happened to be visiting for the weekend, her
husband out of town on one of his normal business trips. Peter woke each
of them gently and asked them to come downstairs without waking their
stepmother or the baby. Peter wandered the lower floor of the house, as
if he were looking for his foster father. They stood there for some twenty minutes: taking
turns looking at the other, searching unsuccessfully within for some words
of comfort to extend to the other. For the next hour, the movements of the mourners
resembled a dance choreographed in slow time as each dancer made a tour
of the lower floor of the house, examining the evidences of the close-knit
family that had been whole until late last night: the pictures, posters,
trophies. Periodically, two or three would stop in the kitchen. They would
refill their coffee cups, stand mutely for a minute or so, and then meander
on. Only Caine sat still, waiting. During one of Kermit's passes through the kitchen,
Caine stopped him to ask. "Are either of you on duty today?"
Kermit had to stop and think, and try to focus,
and then try to think again. The news had shaken him much more than he
was pretending. Finally, the words made sense and the answer came to mind.
"This is Monday; yes, we have to work today." The effort to speak woke him up more. He thought,
Work is going to be very difficult for a while. Not only is he gone, but
I have to get the son-of-a-bitch who did it. I'm not going to get much
accomplished for the Department; neither is Peter. He looked up as Caine
replied to his thoughts. "That's true, Caine," Kermit replied
thoughtfully, "But the Captain and the other detectives will suspect
something is wrong if we occasionally disappear to follow up leads. Chief
Strenlich needs to know; if the knowledge is dangerous for us, not knowing
would be more dangerous for him. As close as he and Paul had become, anyone
would assume he would know too." With Caine in agreement, Kermit called the Chief,
told him the news, and asked him to come to the Blaisdell residence. Frank
was curious, incredulous, and then dismayed, when told why. He arrived
minutes before Annie awakened. *** Back to the present. "Why are there so many people there?" "Who knows and who cares? They'll be gone
soon and then we can work." *** The kitchen quickly became too close and intimate
for the three older men. Kermit and Frank moved outside where there was
room to pace; where there were safe things to pound, like trees. Caine
followed the others, realizing that the family needed to be alone. Peter felt himself pulled in several directions
at once. He wanted to run to where he could be alone; he wanted to charge
out to find who had done this to Paul; he wanted to be with the other
men, to demand answers of Kermit and of his father; and he wanted to be
held and comforted. The ever-present small mouse of doubt about his place
in the Blaisdell family made him hesitant about staying with the women.
He should go with the men and decide how to avenge Paul's death. When Peter moved to join his father, Caine shook
his head, and Annie reached for her foster son to pull him down in front
of her. "Peter," she whispered, "Please
stay. I need you here. I need all my family here with me." Peter gratefully put his head in her lap and allowed
his grief some release. After a while, the four--Annie, Carolyn, Kelly,
and Peter--began to talk softly, between the tears, of the man they loved,
who was no longer there. The group outside arranged themselves around the
backyard, in the shade of the trees, as if they were on guard. They talked
quietly about Paul for a while, his strengths, his adventures, the place
he had held, still held in their lives. The quiet gloom got to Strenlich first. "Did
Paul finish cleaning up" Frank asked Caine. Caine thought, shrugged, started to say his usual,
"I
do not
know", but looked at Kermit and thought
better of it. Kermit might be pretending he was all right, but the strength
of his hidden emotion lit up the side of the house like a red neon light
for Caine. He cleared his throat. "He was speaking to Annie. I could only hear
some of what he was telling her. I only know that she knew he was telling
her goodbye. The distress that caused drew my mind to hers." They turned toward her voice and saw Annie and
the three grown children now standing at the back door. She looked lost,
hidden in her children; they were almost as gray. No one spoke for several moments. Annie looked
toward Caine, her blindness no barrier to locating his presence. He reached
out to her, walking up to her and touching her shoulder. She felt the
solace in his chi flowing from him to her. She turned from him to where
she had heard the others last speak. Caine's chi seemed to give her some
strength. She tried to continue, "He said he had tried,
"
and then she faltered, and slipped into sleep. Peter caught her as she
slid to the patio flooring. "Pop!" "Peter." "Pop, why did you do that?" "Because she needs to sleep; she had nothing
more to tell us, and she is exhausted. That was enough. He told her he
had tried." Caine paused. "So he did not succeed. At least not
completely!" Strenlich muttered, "I'm got some of my own
sources. Unofficial sources." Weeping was now behind them. Mourning could wait.
Information was needed before action could take place. Caine helped Peter carry Annie to her room and
left her to her children. They all had much work to do before Kermit,
and others, including, perhaps, this family here, were safe from the demons
that had pushed Paul on his quest. At least these demons were on the physical
plane where all the group members could attack them. Caine then left to discuss the events with the
Ancient. Carolyn fussed over her stepmother, making her
comfortable in her bed. Kelly and Peter moved back downstairs and began
to discuss what would happen next. Carolyn picked up her son, finally
awake, and came down to find them moving restlessly around the living
room. "Peter," asked Carolyn, "why are
they so worried? I understand them grieving too; they loved Father as
we did
But what they are showing is much more than just grief." "Mom said that he had tried." Peter started,
"and Pop, that is my , my other, oh, Hell, you know who I mean, he
said Paul hadn't succeeded. So, whoever Paul was after is still alive.
And now, we have to find out what he was doing, and why, and who killed
him. Then we stop them. The catch is we don't know where to start. "Look. I have to go to work." "You're going to work? Today? "The sisters
said it at the same time, with the same amount of disbelief and concern.
Peter sighed. It was already a long day, and it
was not much past dawn. He wanted to start investigating his foster father's
murder right now, even more that he wanted a nice long sleep. At least
the tears had pretty much stopped flowing--as long as he didn't think
too hard
"I have to. We decided to not tell anyone about this,
remember? If the killers don't know that we know, they may get careless,
and we will have a better chance of catching them. We all have to pretend
that we don't know." *** "Now there's only two of them." "The other will return. You heard her. She's just going to drop off the pretty boy, pick up some things which she'll never need " The last was said with a wicked grin.
|
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Back to author's index Back to Story index
|