For Lo Si, the surroundings changed drastically. Closing his eyes shut out the furniture, pictures, and people in Kermit's bedroom; in his mind, he saw only darkness. Leaving his body, he willed himself to the Overworld. Opening his mind's eyes, he saw gray. There was no shape, no form; it was as if he were inside a cloud. He saw no shape because he expected none.
From his memory, he drew a picture of Kermit Griffin in front of him. He drew a 5'10" dark-haired man, with green sunglasses, in a dark suit, with dark shoes and white socks. He added a few shocks of white to the dark hair. To complete the picture and give it life, he added the heart; with a smile, he made it a pulsing, slightly tarnished gold heart. To his picture he spoke the words, "Kermit Griffin, find Kermit Griffin."
The picture he just drawn floated free, floated in a small circle twice, and began moving off to one side. As it began to move, Lo Si felt himself pulled along.
The sensation of movement lasted for several minutes and then just stopped. The Ancient looked around, looked for some change in his surroundings. Nothing, and then--something. That something was a guard shack. He knew every person had some token or totem in this the Overworld, some identity representation. Until now, he had seen none of these, not even his own, because he had willed only to find his quarry. That Kermit's token was a guard shack did not surprise the old man.
"Halt!" The voice came from the shack. "Come no closer! This installation is off-limits to all. Go away."
"I am Lo Si, a friend of Kermit Griffin; I am here to help him."
"I need no one's help," came from the shack, in a voice resembling that of the ex-mercenary, but with no feeling of life behind it.
The old Apothecary sighed; this would be so much easier to do if he and Griffin were close kin, as were Master Caine and his son. A person's bardo must have defenses, to protect from assaults; the strength of those defenses varied widely. Master Caine could only have entered Peter's because Peter, his son and a part of him, was willing to let him in. Now he had to convince this man, this guard-persona of Kermit Griffin, to let him, Lo Si, almost a stranger, into his psyche, his memories, him.
Perhaps this will work: "I bring a message from Headquarters."
"I left their employ years ago. If you come from them, I am not interested." Still no life in the voice.
"Not that headquarters; I bring a message from Blaisdell!" Perhaps curiosity might work?
"Blaisdell is dead, you son-of-a-bitch! You could not have a message from him." Still resisting, but that got a reaction.
"He left something with Master Caine for you if he did not return. I bring you the message."
"Tell me now!" Yes, Kermit has life in him yet.
"I must speak it directly to you." That should do it.
"Oh, all right; you may enter. But only if you know the password." Lo Si sighed. One last defense.
Lo Si thought for a few moments. Several obvious things--'Miss Piggy', 'Oh, yeah', 'Press enter'--came to mind and were rejected. Kermit's subconscious would use something only slightly less devious than his conscious mind would. Ah, yes, the obvious choice.
"'Tis a far, far, better thing that I do."
The disembodied voice responded, "Come forward, then, and enter."
The door opened into a small room with desk, whiteboard, clipboards, badges-a stereotypical guard shack. As Lo Si crossed the threshold, the room transformed into a prison cell. He looked over his shoulder and the formless Overworld had become the prison; more cells were behind him with concrete floor below and concrete ceiling above him; and there suddenly was noise, overwhelming noise. There were prisoners crying, screaming and guards yelling; iron bars clanging.
Inside the cell, two guards were standing over a prisoner, Kermit, who was curled into the fetal position, on the floor, moaning. His clothes, black pants and shirt, were dusty, severely rumpled, and bloody. One guard was kicking him in the ribs while the other stood by, obviously enjoying the prisoner's pain.
Lo Si could hear the prisoner's words, only thought during the actual event, but audible here in the Bardo. Kermit was cursing Blaisdell-for leaving him here, for bringing him on the mission, for taking advantage of his youthful naiveté in turning him into a mercenary.
The Ancient moved quickly into the cell and reached for the guard doing the kicking. His hand passed through the other man. He stepped back in amazement. This should not have happened. His ears picked out more words from Kermit's moans, "Blaisdell, where are you?"
For Kermit, in this coma, this was an incident of his past, one for which he knew the outcome. So he knew that Paul Blaisdell was supposed to get him out of this horror. Since he, Lo Si had not been there then, he could not be here now--not as Lo Si.
Lo Si needed to find out what Blaisdell had done so he could play that part. This prison was but one memory in Kermit's bardo; Lo Si would have to find another memory before he could terminate Kermit's current nightmare.
He backed out of the cell; the door was slammed in his face. From the outside, the cell door was solid; the only evidence of what lay within was a printed sign, "Afghan prison, last hours."
All the cell doors in this narrow prison corridor were now solid, each with their own sign. The few that Lo Si read told him that this area held the memories of the horrors of Kermit's past. He needed to find another area.
The old man moved swiftly along the corridor toward the EXIT sign that appeared another dozen doors away, in the direction he faced. The door under this sign was as solid as the cell doors, but gave with a light push. He stepped through the doorway and found he was at the bottom of a staircase.
Deducing that, if Kermit's worst memories were at the bottom of these stairs, his best must be up at the top, Lo Si began to climb. As he rose, he noted that the harsh concrete walls and floor gave way, at the next landing, to painted, smoothed concrete. One more flight brought him to cheap wallpaper and carpet. The last flight of steps rose, finally, to embossed wallpaper above wainscoting and plush carpeting. Where all had been dirty gray below, here were varying shades of rich green.
At each landing, Lo Si peeked out the door. Each floor continued the theme from the landing on the other side of the door; the layouts were the same, only the décor was improving.
The steps ended at a huge vault door. These were precious memories to be so protected. The door was, of course, locked; but, in a place as surreal as the Bardo, it was easy for Lo Si to become one with the door and one with the lock and to cause the tumblers to fall into place. The door swung open. On the other side was a large landing, which resembled nothing less than a loge in a five-star hotel. Lo Si fully expected a concierge to bow into his presence. He looked over the balcony to see how far he had risen; gray clouds filled the space.
Here, too, the corridor led right and left from the door. Either way would be right; neither way would be wrong, after all, this was a bardo.
Lo Si moved to his left and began to scan the door signs. The first sign read "Elevator and Captain Simms." He laughed and moved on. "Christmas with the Blaisdell's" was the next; he grinned and continued. The next one stopped him. "Leaving Afghan prison,"--the one he wanted.
He touched the door and it swung open onto a field obviously outside the prison from which Kermit had just been removed, in this memory. A younger Paul Blaisdell and another man were supporting the mercenary as the three moved toward a waiting jeep.
Lo Si entered the scene and moved to the trio. Blaisdell was apparently answering a question from Griffin. "How did I get you released from prison? Bribery. Good old bribery. These poor slobs are so underpaid, they take bribes for anything. And to them, you were just another piece of meat. Now hush up and save your strength. The ride in this jeep in no way resembles your fancy sports car back home."
"Ah," thought the healer, "I must act as if I were bribing those guards." Rubbing his hands gleefully, in anticipation of the rescue he could now effect, he walked quickly out of the room, to the vault door, and proceeded down the stairs. As he moved downwards, the cloud hiding the lower floors slowly dissolved, allowing him to see only several steps below him. When he looked up, the cloud had reformed behind him.
He quickly reached the cell in which his patient had sequestered himself. This time the door was locked. He called to the guards, "I have much money here to trade for the prisoner. I have already paid off your leaders."
Since this was close enough to the memory sequence, the guards immediately opened the door. Since they expected this man to have stacks of money for them, they grabbed the air above his hands--as if he held those stacks--and ran off, laughing at 'rich, stupid Americans.'
Lo Si moved into the cell, "Come, Griffin, you have been ransomed. Let us go, now." That seemed close enough to what Blaisdell might have said to him.
Kermit looked up, relief forming on his face, "Paul? Is that really you?" And then the expression changed, dissolved, went blank. "No, you're not Paul. Why are you here? Go away!" His head dropped back to the floor in despair. 'When is Paul going to come?"
This time, when Lo Si placed his hand on Kermit, he could feel the man's substance. Kermit moaned again, obviously in pain.
"Detective Griffin, let me heal your injuries. Then we can talk."
The other looked up again. "You can't just heal me; these will take weeks."
"Ah, but I can. You have seen our friend Kwai Chang Caine do this; I can do this also.
"You can stop the pain?" Griffin was still fully involved in his nightmare, feeling every sensation he had felt during the actual event.
In answer, Lo Si gently placed his hands over Kermit's ribcage and concentrated on focusing his healing chi into Kermit's skin, warming the area where Kermit's remembrance of the original damage was hurting him now. Lo Si knew that, since the other man believed Lo Si could heal him, the pain would leave, and Griffin would be able to move.
Kermit slowly straightened and then pulled himself onto the cell's cot. Lo Si sat beside him.
The temptation was strong for Lo Si to try to deal with Kermit Griffin's psychological problems here, while he was communicating with this aspect of the man's subconscious. However, he knew that, to heal all the aspects, he needed to be working with the whole man. He needed to pull Kermit out of his self-constructed cell.
"Kermit, tell me what do you see?"
"Old man, I see iron bars in the windows, concrete for walls and floor, and iron bars on the door. What did you expect me to see?" Griffin even sounded a bit angry--he again had some spirit! He stood and proceeded to pace the cell, first slowly, gradually building speed.
The old man watched the Griffin's mood change from the initial passive acceptance to anger.
Kermit turned and stormed over to the Ancient, roughly pulled him off the cot and began to shake him. "You're supposed to be Paul! You're supposed to get me out of here--not ask me stupid questions."
As the angry man shook, the form within his hands became, first, a rag doll; then a wraith.
As Kermit drew back in horror at what he had done, as well as what he had just seen, the wraith solidified into Lo Si and spoke, "Remember, my friend, I am an old man." He patted the mercenary prisoner on the cheek.
"Come, sit with me."
Kermit slumped down beside him, hiding his face in his hands, muttering more to himself than to the man beside him, "I am sorry, Lo Si, -can't imagine what came over me... What am I turning into? -What kind of monster have I turned into?"
Lo Si leaned in front of the other man and pulled one of Kermit's arms away from his face.
Surprised, the other pulled back and looked at the Ancient--and got his face slapped with his own hand! "What?" He sputtered, "What was that for?"
"Do I have your attention now? Lo Si's facial expression was kindly, but the vocal expression was firm.
"Oh, yeah. So, what do you want? We don't seem to be going anywhere." The mercenary's antagonism was back as well.
"My friend, does this place look familiar? Look at it! Have you been here before?"
Griffin looked around and then closed his eyes and lay back on the cot. "Sure this looks familiar. This is the prison in Afghanistan where I was...where I am. Where I am."
"Is this your first time here? Think, my friend!" The old man turned toward the man lying beside him and lay his hand on Kermit's arm.
Without opening his eyes, the mercenary remarked, "You know I don't like to be touched. People have been killed for less." But there was no malice in the voice.
"I know," was the verbal response; the physical response was to take hold of the arm.
Kermit opened his eyes and looked at the Ancient. "You are pushing your luck."
"I am wanting you to answer me, to think. Were you here before? When was that?" Lo Si knew he was dealing with the mercenary persona of Kermit, the part of Kermit's past that had been in this prison; but he also knew that that persona recognized Lo Si as part of Kermit Griffin's present, as one of the 'good guys' in that present. The old man was fairly sure he was safe...
The man beside him started to speak, so quietly Lo Si had to focus carefully to hear him. "I was here in '87, during the chaos of the U.S.S.R pull-out."
And then his head snapped up and Kermit, not just a splinter of his psyche, was there. He jumped to his feet, knocking Lo Si to one side, turned, and grabbed the old man again. This time he was demanding an answer, "Why am I here?"
He pulled his captive up to his face and, pitching his voice at the beast level, quietly asked again, "Why am I here?"
Lo Si ignored his position and Kermit's questioning. Speaking as if they were sitting comfortably in his home, he turned the question around, "Tell me what you remember."
Kermit slowly lowered the other to the ground and then began to pace as he talked. "I remember you, the kid and his father, and Karen taking me home from the hospital. Peter fussed over me like a Mother Hen until his father dragged him out. Karen, uh- Captain Simms, left almost as soon as she got us to my place. You were taking a nap and I was waiting for you to start ask me what had happened. Then I heard a shot from somewhere outside, got up to investigate and, …and, then I was here."
He looked around at his surroundings and again asked, "Why am I here? Why am I still here?" Now he was more puzzled than angry.
"The drug the assassin gave you last week has made you hypersensitive to your surroundings. Any action or sound that reminds you of a traumatic incident of your past may cause you to relive that incident--as the engine backfiring triggered the memory of the incident that brought you to this place."
Kermit accepted that, but "I remember how I got out of here before, when I really was here; how do I get out now? Click my heels three times and say, 'I want to go home'?" Even when puzzled and perturbed, the man could not resist a jab of sarcasm.
Lo Si chuckled at that, "You do not have the red slippers to do that, dear friend, but it is that easy."
"Am I asleep? Did I hit my head too hard on the floor, when I landed, and knocked myself out?" He knew he had a thick skull, but didn't like the idea of a second head trauma so soon after the first.
"No, it is more like you are in a deep meditative state. When you heard what you interpreted as a shot, you simply turned off your ability to sense the external world. You have the ability to turn that back on at any time. I will help you."
An exasperated sigh escaped from Kermit's lips, "I do not meditate; you Shaolin meditate. I sleep. So, what do I do?"
In a low monotone geared to ease Kermit into a 'consciously' relaxed state, Lo Si began, "Lie down here on the cot and relax. Together we will count down from four to one. At each count, you will take a deep breath and exhale. I will give you a simple command, which you will follow. At the count of one, you will open your eyes and be awake. You will feel fine, and fully rested; there will be a slight headache, which will quickly pass." Lo Si added two more 'suggestions, ' "When you wake, you will remember our visit here; but this incident you relived will no longer threaten you. It will be only an unpleasant memory."
Kermit acknowledged the words by nodding. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.
Lo Si started to count in the same monotone, but speaking more slowly, taking a deep breath between each sentence. Kermit needed to come out of his current state slowly. As he counted, he spoke telepathically with Kwai Chang Caine, **My friend, we are done here. Detective Griffin will be awake in two minutes. It is time for you to go. Thank you for your help.**
As he expected, Master Caine responded, **I was glad to be of service. I will leave this room now. My son and I will leave the apartment as soon as Kermit is awake.**
"Four. I have started to count. Take a deep breath and exhale. You are relaxed and feeling fine. Three. Take a deep breath and exhale. Now wiggle your toes. Two. Take a deep breath and exhale. Now stretch your back and leg muscles. One. Take a deep breath and exhale. Now open your eyes. You are awake."
The detective opened his eyes, popped up into a sitting position on his bed, and flopped back down again. "Good! We are alone."
"Of course we are, my good friend, Kermit. Who did you expect to see?" Lo Si chuckled to himself--before he had allowed Kermit to awaken, he had sent a final telepathic message to Kwai Chang Caine to leave the premises-that the patient was fine and would soon be awake. Then he had removed his hand from the other's forehead, risen from the bed, moved to the other chair in the room, and given the final count of 'one'.
"I expected to see the Caine family, good friend Lo Si. I'm amazed Peter isn't poking his head through the door." He sounded almost disappointed that his friend was not there.
"They have left; I did not want them here to disturb you when you awoke. They came because I am too old and too small to carry a man like you to your bed. Once you were there, Peter stood outside the door to make sure we were not disturbed." Lo Si was matter-of-fact in his tone, but he watched the other carefully for Kermit's reaction to his words.
"If Peter was outside my door, where was his father?" Kermit's concern for his privacy was understandable.
"While I was with you in your Bardo, Master Caine monitored my chi. I am a frail old man and might not have had enough strength to enter, or to stay if you rejected me.
"Now, I am going to make you some tea and then I will prepare something to eat. We are both hungry. I will let our friends know that you are resting quietly. They may come back to visit tomorrow. You are resting quietly, are you not?" He made the last sound something like a threat.
Kermit took the hint and, after pulling two pillows behind his head, lay back and tried to relax. He was actually drifting off to sleep when the old Apothecary returned to the room.
Lo Si immediately came to the bed, straightened the bed covers, and fluffed the pillows to help the patient sit up. "Here, drink your tea; then you may rest. It is too soon for you to sleep, that nap you took will have to serve you for a while."
Kermit frowned at the attempted humor over the flashback, but took the tea and began to sip.
When they had finished the tea, Lo Si slipped into the kitchen to prepare a substantial snack while Kermit attempted to rest.
As the old man puttered around his patient's kitchen, he could sense the other's discomfort, not of the body, but within the spirit. When he returned to the bedroom, he was not surprised to find Kermit at the computer.
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