As he contemplated this beauty that was still his, she was softly examining his hair, his face with her hands. He started kissing those hands, and then picked her up again and kissed her lips, her mouth, her; and she returned his kisses with the same growing ferocity. Five minutes or forty months was too long apart. With no one around to interrupt, they could forget existence outside the sphere of their desire for each other, their passion that had been on hold for too long.

But before passion took control, Annie's doubts returned. She masked them in a show of concern and asked, "Are you sure you're strong enough? Did the doctors say...?"

Now Paul was unsure. He had been gone longer this time than any in the past; was she questioning his love, trying to be tactful? Was it possible she no longer loved him? Maybe this lovemaking, as strong as his desire was, should wait a few days, until they had talked about the last three years. He pulled back, just a little. "If you think we should wait..."

Annie could not see the expression of hurt on his face; knowing her man so well, she didn't need to--she could hear it in his voice. This was the man she had loved for so long, still loved. He had come home to her today, finally. She had no doubts of her love for him. And now that she had had time to think and eat, she knew she probably had not changed, not where it counted. It was time to show him that!

She placed her hand at his crotch and was delighted to feel the slight bulge swell at her touch. "Does that seem like I want to wait? I just want to know you can keep up with me!"

Her teasing smile was instantly reflected in his voice. "I may have to start feeding you the herbs and concoctions Caine had his father feeding me… So you can keep up with me. I feel better than I did at twenty."

She laughed at that and was pulling his head down for another kiss when he straightened and turned. He had just succeeded in unbuttoning her blouse when a strange voice rang out in the den. "There it is again. I knew I wasn't imagining things." He looked at her in astonishment and annoyance. "Who is in the den?"

It came out as more of a demand than he had intended, but Annie just laughed. "This is very poor timing, but you were going to have to meet him sometime." She grabbed her husband's hand and pulled him with her into the den.

When they had entered the room, Paul looked at her in amazement. "Where did this computer come from? And where did that voice come from?" After a moment, he added, "Are there any more additions I should know about?"

Annie just grinned mischievously and said, "Nothing you won't be pleased with." She pulled him closer to the computer. "Paul, meet Scooter."

All he could say was "Scooter?"

"Kermit told me he had helped Carolyn buy this for me so I could enter the computer age. Such a dear man! He really got Carolyn to buy it to give her something to do while he and Peter chased down the people we thought had killed you. But when they caught all the troublemakers--I know Kermit told you about that--Kermit and Carolyn installed special hardware and software so I could use it. Carolyn worked with me for a while, teaching me. Now I'm teaching some of the ladies at the Community Center how to use e-mail and word processors. Watch this."

She raised her voice just a little, and commanded, "Scooter. Give me my unread mail."

Paul could see the mail program open up a window on the monitor and scroll though the IN box. Several messages marked Unread were highlighted; a disembodied voice, sounding suspiciously like Paul, identified the first message as coming from Kermit. He laughed when the message appeared on the screen, commenting that it must have been sent shortly before their friend had left his office to come for dinner.

When the software had read the message to her, Annie laughed also. Kermit had written, "What are you two lovebirds doing reading mail? Go to bed!"

They looked at each other and, as one, said, "He's right, you know."

Annie turned down the volume on the speaker so they wouldn't hear Scooter upstairs. As she reached the den door, she paused, "Oh, yes, my love. There is one more thing we'd better do now."

Paul was beginning to wonder if these were delaying tactics; maybe Annie really did not want to make love. He stopped where he was, not making any sound for Annie to interpret.

Annie walked over to a box on the wall - another addition to the house. She reached out to the box, depressed a button, and, again, raised her voice, this time saying, "Guardian!"

Another voice, this time sounding suspiciously like Kermit's, answered, "Yes, Mistress?"

Paul looked at his wife in amazement. She was as comfortable with voice-activated systems as Kermit was with computers. And then an uncomfortable thought struck. Did this house have ears? Who or what was listening?

His wife was talking, but not to him. "Guardian, add a new family member. His name is Paul Blaisdell. He is Master."

The disembodied voice then addressed Paul. "Master, please speak your name twice in a comfortable tone of voice. Say it once slowly. Then say it again as you would to identify yourself to a friend."

Paul did so, not sure if he was pleased about this system.

The guardian then said, "I will store your voice pattern in my data base so I can identify you when you wish to change my programming. Thank you. I am now switching back to monitoring mode."

"Annie, just what does this device listen to?"

She started to laugh, but stopped, realizing his question came from his background in covert operations, a deeper concern than just shyness about being overheard. "This guardian sniffs for gas, smoke, and carbon monoxide, and listens for breaking glass and intruders. It knows the voices of the family, but only so we can give it commands. That's all. Really, love, that's all. It doesn't listen to us talking. Come on, weren't we going upstairs?"

He pulled her close and kissed her. "Okay, I believe you. There are no little ears, and, since there are no big ears..." He moved her towards the stairs. She, in turn, tucked her head against his chest, placed her hand over his heart, and let him guide her.

All the way up the stairs and into their bedroom, she listened to his heartbeat racing with anticipation, felt her body heat rising to match, tucked away concerns about how they both might have changed since Paul had left the last time. Her mind was already caught up in the thrill of making love to her husband, replaying the way his hands had caressed her body so many times before.

They reached the bedroom and the bed and stopped, each suddenly feeling some reticence in the other and some doubt in themselves.

Annie quickly realized she would have to make the first move. This was too much like a first date, and her husband was not going to push her faster than she wanted to go. She almost laughed at that, but was too pleased at his sensitivity. She spoke, with a flirtatious tone, "This has been a long dusty day. I need a shower! Will you join me?"

The ice again broken, Paul grinned and hugged her tightly. "I like the way you think. Shall I help you with your clothes?" His hands moved caressingly over her shoulders and down her back, preparing to take hold of her sweater and raise it for her. As he did, he leaned in to kiss her, looking at her face as he did. To his consternation, tears were building in her eyes and one teardrop was starting to leave the corner of her eye. He recognized the symptoms of hidden doubts. To himself, he said, Damn, what is going on here? I want her so much! Why is she pushing herself to please me when she doesn't want me? To his wife he said, "Annie, love, maybe we are just going a bit too fast. Why don't we just lie down and cuddle for a while."

Annie moved with him unprotestingly to the bed. How could she explain? She loved, she was afraid, she wanted, she shouldn't, she was so torn!

He helped her lie on one side of the bed and then went around to the other and lay beside her. "Here, let me just hold you."

They clung together quietly for a few minutes. Annie had never had trouble speaking her mind before, and, that she was obviously uncomfortable about something important to her, disturbed him even more than the thought of his not being able to make love to her tonight, or ever again.

The house was quiet. The normal street sounds permeated the room. Yesterday Paul had been in a different country, in a quiet, small French town. Today he was home, in his house, in his bed; he had felt more at home yesterday.

Annie was trying to come up with words to say, anything; something that would let this beloved man beside her see into her mind. She was so afraid of losing him.

Paul had had years of experience grilling both suspects and subordinates. This woman was neither, but, perhaps, some of the techniques would help her get past whatever was keeping her silent. Start with an irrelevancy. "Peter -a father! I never thought I'd see it. He seems so different."

Annie responded without thinking. "I think the baby has made a bigger difference than finishing his Shaolin training and taking those brands. Isn't she adorable? And what about your grandson?" Her mind focused on what she'd just said. "You're a grandfather!" And she grinned at him, and then laughed at the mild curse he uttered in response.

He took a chance and plunged in. "Annie, love, was I away too long this time? Is there any love there for me still? His voice was steady, but very soft and shy.

She could hear the pleading in it, the unvoiced 'Don't leave me, please.' "Oh, Paul, you were gone way too long, this time and every time you've left. And I love you as I have always loved you." She took a deep breath and her voice shook. "It's me, not you, that's the problem. I'm so afraid you won't still love me."

He pulled her into his arms. "No, no. How can you say that?"

She turned her face up toward her husband's voice. "I just don't know if I'm the same person you fell in love with. It's been a very long three years! Suppose you don't even like me any more!" She was weeping now, not at all sure she had explained herself well enough.

He thought and then realized silence was the wrong answer. "Annie, I was so afraid you'd found someone new. You've had all these young men around. So much of what you showed me downstairs was from Kermit…"

A strange noise interrupted him. She was still weeping, but she was also laughing and then choking as the tears went down the wrong way. "Kermit considers me a second mother! All those things he's done here he did because he felt guilty about not protecting me enough to prevent the attack on the house. As much as he feels about you, he would not be able to face you if something happened to me. He has no romantic thoughts about me--nor I toward him. What he did here was a measure of the respect he has for you! Didn't you tell him to watch over me?"

She laughed again, and then reached up to kiss his nose. Her face and voice were solemn as she continued. "You should have seen him barrel in here that day when Stiles' hired thugs broke into the house. You would have been so proud of how Kermit handled the whole thing. He came charging into this room here just positive I'd been hurt or killed. Then he just had time to realize Kelly and I were okay when he heard the patrol car sent to answer his call for backup. In that short time, he came up with the plan to pretend I'd died. He wouldn't let anyone in until his captain and Caine came so they could help set it up.

"Love, you left a lot of men behind with orders to watch over me. And there are many more men out in the world. None of them are you! No one has come close to taking your place in my heart." She sighed and drew breath to continue.

Paul ignored her diversion. "Annie, how could you think you've changed so much? I've been watching you since I came in this afternoon. You love me and my daughters, you love Peter, you care for the whole family, as much as it has grown. These new things you can do haven't changed who you are! Where it counts, you're still the woman I fell in love with." He paused, and then, as a thought struck him, continued. "Are you worried that you can't make room for me in your life? Each time before when I returned we had to reshuffle responsibilities to make room for me in the family. Will that be so much harder this time? Are you so used to me not being here?"

She gave him a quick squeeze. "I have always been too joyful and grateful for your return to begrudge you taking your responsibilities back! But you were used to me always being here for you when you needed me." She again turned her face up toward his. "How are you going to feel when you call me and I'm not here? I spend almost every day at the Community Center in Chinatown now. They rely on me! I'm only a volunteer, but-"

Paul kissed her temple. "So that was the Center you kept referring to. Every time you spoke, you made some reference to the people at your Center. I was wondering if you'd gone Buddhist, like Caine. It had to be something special, the way you lit up as you spoke." He paused and considered. "Yes, I suppose I am and will be a bit jealous that other people are sharing my beloved. But I've had to share you with so many people since we've been married."

Annie's face reflected the shock in her voice. "Paul Blaisdell, now just what do you mean by that!"

She could not see the expression on his face, but the laughter in his voice was unmistakable. "I have had to share you with my daughters from the start. Then Peter came into our lives. I've had to share you with the people I work with, Kermit, Rykker, then Peter's father. And those are just the people we consider family. Annie, love, I've always been a bit jealous of the time you've spent with everyone else. I'll just have to fit in these new friends of yours, too. Do you think you can find a little bit of time for an old love?"

As he spoke, he gently moved his hand to the small of her back and moved her closer to him. She, in turn, wriggled her way up the bed until she could feel his breath warm on her nose. She kissed him on his chin and then said, "Thank you, dear heart," and then added, with a definite leer in her voice, "Should I pencil you in for tonight?"

He laughed at that, rolled her on her back, leaned part of his weight on her, and kissed her. As she returned his kiss, his hands moved under her sweater toward her bra. She pulled away just enough to speak, "I really need that shower! Will you help?"

"Will you promise not to cry? The words may have been scolding, but the tone was teasing. Annie knew he was asking if she had satisfied her concern. She had; his last statement had removed her final doubts. She took his hand and placed it between her breasts and placed her hand on the center of his chest. "We are, as we belong, in each other's hearts forever. I know this in every fiber of my being."

Paul, recognizing her need for closure, answered her vow with his own. "This has never changed, nor will it ever. I know this in every fiber of my being."

With that, he started again to reach for her sweater, only to find she was already removing his belt. They took turns removing articles of clothing from the other until both were naked, first kneeling up on the bed, then standing on the floor to remove pants, panties, and briefs. They clasped into a trembling kiss and then she tickled him and broke for the bathroom. "First one in gets the shower head!"

He laughed and followed.

They spent just enough time in the shower to soap each other and rinse off. To each, the other's touch was almost unbearable. They wanted to caress each other's body part and stroke and kiss; both wanted to lie down to fully appreciate the pleasure received. The shower took longer than they intended. They had to constantly remind each other of the greater pleasures waiting... They toweled quickly and ran giggling hand in hand to the bed.

As they reached the bed, Paul picked up his wife, swung her onto the bedspread, and rolled down next to her. She whispered, "Whew, lover, you haven't done that in years!" She moved her hand up his side and then down his chest, caressing as well as exploring. "Hmmm, I can see I'm going to have to keep you on Caine's diet--"

Before she could continue, Paul had his mouth over hers, and they were kissing, and both caressing and exploring, and moving into long-remembered positions. And then they were one, locked physically, emotionally, soul to soul, moving very quickly from first gear to open throttle. Too many days had passed since the last time, too many minutes had passed since they had seen each other for the first time again. The early climax was inevitable but not mourned. This was only the first dance.

The music stopped, they relaxed, they stayed in position; not in weariness nor in anticipation; but in celebration. They were; it was enough.

"You got a new mattress."

"Yes, for a long time I needed to feel where you had lain. But when I knew you would return, I realized the shape of the lumps was rolling me into the middle--and that was our spot, not mine.

He laughed, she laughed, he kissed her, she kissed him. They touched and stroked and tickled and played… and loved. They dozed, and, finally spent and content, they slept.

Like young kittens, they slept intertwined. One would wake, caress the other, start another round of lovemaking. Both would drift back to sleep--for a while. Then the whole round would start again.

Hours after the sun had come up, they arose for some nourishment. Paul fixed them both simple omelets, which they ate with dispatch. They then returned to their nest.

Close to five in the afternoon, there was a quiet knock at the front door. Paul pulled on a robe and went down to answer it. Peter handed him a bag of Chinese take-out, turned and left without uttering a word. Paul shook his head and re-entered the house. As he reached for the door, he saw the sock firmly fastened to the outside knob. He was still laughing when Annie met him in the kitchen. He explained, "A sock on the doorknob is traditionally used in many college dorms by students to tell the roommate to spend the night elsewhere."

She joined in his laughter.

As he put his arm around her to hug, Annie said, with a twinkle in her voice, "I guess that means we're not having any company tonight?"

"Good thing, too," Paul responded huskily, kissing her on the top of her head. "We haven't finished talking."

"Oh, is that what you're calling it now?" she said with a giggle and reaching down to tweak him. "You have energy for more 'speech'?"

"You just give me time to eat this donation from Peter, and I'll show you energy." He retaliated to her tweak by gently squeezing her bare breast.

While they ate, Paul remarked, "I noticed Peter was very quiet last night. Is he all right?"

Annie answered slowly. "He will be." She stopped and reached for her husband. He saw the movement and took her hand. She continued, "Do you remember the difficulties he had adjusting to his father's return?

"How could I forget? Sometimes I wondered if I'd gained his father as a cop and sometimes I thought Peter would get killed trying to please both his father and me. Poor kid! He had it rough!"

She patted his hand. "Love, now I can see some of what he felt then. There is a parallel between the way I was feeling yesterday and how he felt when his father came back. Remember, we all thought you were dead." She leaned toward him as she said, "I thank God you were not, that you could be here, with me!"

He kissed her fingers and agreed, "Yes, as we rejoiced with Peter that Caine wasn't dead!"

Picking her words carefully, she said, "Paul, do you realize he also thought you were dead, and now you've returned? I think he feels some of the same fear that he did when he found his father, and the same fear that I did over your return. -that he will not be loved because he has changed. Peter has changed perhaps even more than I have. He is no longer the aggressive policeman who was in your command. He is a branded Shaolin priest, -more and more finding the 'other way' Master Caine preaches. I'm sure he is concerned that you will disapprove of his new path, as he would put it." She knew, but did not give voice to the knowledge that Peter had never completely lost the insecurity he felt about his place in this family.

Paul frowned at the thought of his disapproving of any path to Peter's happiness, "Well, I guess I'd better just wrestle that boy to the ground and pound some sense into him." He chuckled as he reached over to tweak Annie's breast again. "It worked with you, didn't it?"

Annie moved her hand down his body, feeling her way to his groin. When she found it, she gave him a slight squeeze, saying, "Paul Blaisdell, you behave!" Her expression was one of shock at his words, but her voice cracked with laughter.

After finishing off the takeout, they went back to bed. They couldn't really make up for the lost years, but they were quickly healing scars caused by that time. And who knew what would come tomorrow.

The End

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