Amy lay sprawled on her bed, a book in her hands. A lit candle and a pot of steaming tea stood on her nightstand. It was a beautiful Sunday in December. Her morning chores were done, every horse, pony, and even the chickens were fed and resting for a change, and so she had decided to enjoy the cheesy book she’d bought weeks ago but never gotten the chance to actually read.

Schoolwork and work at Heartland usually never stopped, but today was one of those rare days where no emergencies had arisen, and the new snow that had started falling overnight had kept any unexpected visitors at home.

Amy was looking forward to spending a few hours of quiet alone in her room with her book when a soft knock on her bedroom door drew her attention away from Prince Charming and his yet-not-so-friendly princess. She was tempted to ignore whoever was disturbing her peaceful moment of respite, but another knock, more forceful this time, interrupted her reading again. A second later, her dad’s voice wafted through the door, “Amy, I know you’re in there. Can I talk to you for a minute, please?”

Sighing, Amy stowed the book under her pillow – she definitely didn’t want her father to see her reading a romance novel – and went to open the door. “Hi, Dad.”

“Hi, honey,” he replied and opened his arms. Without thinking, Amy stepped into his embrace and enjoyed the strength and security she felt in his hold. Two years ago, she would have loved to send Tim Fleming back to wherever he had been for the past ten years or so, but things had changed so much recently. It was good to have a father again, and even though they still had their difficulties adjusting to each other and their new life, she enjoyed having him back.

Sure, he was still stubborn, childish sometimes, thoughtless and rash, but she knew he loved Lou and her very much. He just wasn’t very good at showing it, so the hug they shared meant a lot to her – and to him, she could tell.

Drawing back, she looked at him. “What’s up, Dad?” she asked. “Shouldn’t you be watching your herd? The snow will make it pretty hard to get home later today.”

Her father only smiled. “Don’t worry, Amy, my men are looking out for them.”

“Okay. So, what brings you to Heartland?”

Realizing they were still standing at the door, Amy invited him in; but her dad shook his head and replied, “I wanted to ask you to come with me if you don’t mind. I, uh, I wanted to show you something.”

Her curiosity peaked. “Is it a horse? Do you want me to grab my…?” Her father interrupted her mid-sentence. He seemed nervous.

“No, honey, don’t worry, everything is fine. I just…” He checked himself and tried again. “It’s a surprise, all right?”

“Okay then, just give me a minute, and I’ll be right out.”

The bright smile she received from him in return definitely made up for missing out on her book – again.

Five minutes later, the two of them were on their way. Ty had promised to check on the horses, and Grandpa and Lou had wished them a wonderful time, settling in for a lazy afternoon themselves. Amy couldn’t shake the feeling they had been in on the secret, so she was very curious to see where her dad was taking her. It couldn’t be one of his more “unconventional” ideas he loved so much, or Grandpa would never have let her go. It seemed he and her dad had worked out some kind of peace – at least for now.

They drove in silence, out the front gate that marked the borders of Heartland on this side, and further away into the snowy landscape. After a few minutes, Amy couldn’t take it any longer.

“Aren’t you gonna tell me where we’re going?” she asked, but her father just grinned.

“Nope.”

“Aww, come on, Dad, you know I don’t like secrets.”

His smile just deepened. “Don’t worry, you’ll find out soon enough.”

Settling back in her seat, Amy smiled inwardly. He really was just a big kid at heart, and joking around with him like this felt great. They hadn’t done that in a very long time. In fact, they hadn’t really been alone without Lou or Grandpa looking over their shoulders for what felt like ages.

A few minutes later, a suspicion crept up on her. The hill they were driving toward looked awfully familiar. Amy was sure she’d been here before…many, many years ago when they had still been a real family. Don’t dwell on it, she tried to tell herself, but it was already too late. She’d remembered when she’d been here before.

They were approaching Rabbit Hill. It was the largest hill in the area but still way too small to be called a mountain. Lou had named it years ago. In summer, there were rabbit families running around everywhere, bunnies playing in the sun when no predators were near. Lou, Amy, and their mom had spent hours lying on the hill closest to it, observing the lively creatures without disturbing them.

Now everything was white and gray, the ground covered by snow, only a single blade of grass sticking out of the snow here and there. Drawn into her memories, Amy leaned back and closed her eyes.

She had long learned to accept her mother’s death as something she couldn’t change. She knew it was no one’s fault, that it had been an accident; but every time she stumbled upon some memory that took her back to her early childhood, she couldn’t help but miss her mom terribly. And every time it happened, she developed a strong feeling of resentment toward her dad. She knew it was unfair, but she couldn’t help it because he hadn’t been there when they needed him the most. Thinking about the past brought back all those feelings of loss and hurt and betrayal she had felt after their family fell apart.

She still didn’t know where her father had been all those years without them. How had he lived? What had made him come back? Maybe, if he had been there, things wouldn’t have happened. How could he have left them in the first place? Amy wanted answers, answers he wasn’t ready to give yet, but she had to know, to understand…

Her father’s hand on her knee made her swirling thoughts stop. “Hey, you okay?” he asked, worry evident in his soft voice.

Startled, Amy looked up and loosened her death grip on the door handle. She hadn’t even noticed that she’d grabbed it. Turning to her dad, she saw him regard her with deep concern in his eyes.

“Yes,” she said, but her voice didn’t sound like hers, even in her own ears, so she cleared her throat and tried again. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just…thinking, you know.”

Her father looked unconvinced, but Amy didn’t give him time to ask what was on her mind and asked a question of her own, trying not to show any of the anger she had felt only seconds before. “What are we doing here, Dad?”

They had stopped at the foot of the hill. Still trying to shake the unwelcome feelings her musings had stirred up, she didn’t mind when her father got out of the truck without answering her question and motioned for her to follow him. It gave her the time she needed to compose herself.

She opened the door on her side and hopped out of the truck. Damn, it was cold! Glad she’d brought her thick riding gloves, Amy pulled them on and stomped her feet a few times. The cold air helped her clear her head.

A sudden scratching noise from the back of the truck made Amy turn around. She stared in wonder as her dad pulled something from the bed.

“Is that a sled?” she asked, confused and not sure what her father was planning. She was a little too old for this, wasn’t she?

“Yup,” came the smug reply, but then anxiety crept into her dad’s face when Amy just stood staring at him. He put the beautifully carved sled – the one he and Grandpa had made for them more than ten years ago – down in the snow and stepped a little closer to explain.

“Look, I, uh…Do you remember the last winter we spent together?” He clearly looked uncomfortable now but forged on nonetheless, choosing his words very carefully. “I wanted to go sledding with you and Lou on the last day in February when there was still enough snow on the hills, but you had to stay in bed with chicken pox. I promised you we would do it the year after.” He swallowed hard and continued, “We never got the chance because…because…”

Seeing how hard it was for him to finish his sentence, Amy stepped up to him and placed a comforting hand on her father’s arm. “It’s okay, Dad,” she said, and the gratitude she saw in his face when he didn’t have to say it pierced her heart. They were still a long way from being able to talk about the past without guilt and pain overlaying everything.

Her dad took a deep breath and tried again. “So…because we never made it, I thought it would be nice to make up for it now. Just you and me.” He paused and looked at her insecurely. “What do you think?”

Amy couldn’t help herself. She flung her arms around her dad and hugged him fiercely – and he hugged her back with all he was worth. Amy’s negative thoughts were washed away by the realization how hard it must have been for him to come out here with her, indirectly asking for her forgiveness and trying to make up for something that had been totally out of his control.

When they finally seperated, Amy looked up at her dad with stinging eyes. He looked close to tears himself, so she grabbed his hand and towed him to the sled still sitting in the snow. “I think it’s a great idea,” she smiled. Not giving her father a chance to reply, she let go of his hand and picked up the rope tied to the head of the sled, and sped toward the top of the hill. “Last one up’s a shaggy pony!” she yelled.

“I have to tell you, I’m a racehorse!” came the expected reply from behind. Amy just laughed and kept running.

An hour later, the two of them lay in a heap at the bottom of Rabbit Hill, out of breath and tired to the bone.

Their last run down the hill had ended rather abruptly. The sled had been stopped short by a boulder hidden by the snow and sent them flying. Still laughing and enjoying the unforeseen break in their winter fun, Amy leaned back against her dad and rested her head on his snow-covered belly.

After a few minutes of trying to catch her breath, Amy spoke. “Thanks, Dad,” she whispered.

He ruffled her hair in reply, spreading snow everywhere in the process. “Anytime, Amy,” he said with a happy sigh she could feel reverberating through his whole body. “Anytime.”

He planted a kiss on the top of her head, and Amy closed her eyes, savoring the moment for the special one it was.

The End

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