Usually, Kermit liked the lightning. Violent thunderstorms fascinated him. Sometimes he would stand out on his front porch in the wind and the rain. It was like a challenge. Come and get me. Tonight, it was just one more memory. He took another long drink from the bottle in his right hand and stood staring out the window into the raging weather longing to disappear into the storm. Longing to be anyone other than Kermit Griffin.

After Captain Simms had thrown him out of the precinct that afternoon, he'd come home to find his power out. No computer. No music. No dinner. Since Simms had scheduled their "meeting" to discuss his unprofessional behavior for 10:00 a.m. the next morning, he decided to get good and drunk tonight. Consciously, he released every ounce on control he'd been taught over the years and let the liquor plow through his blood and warp his sense of reality. *So I'll look and feel my very best,* he thought, swallowing another gulp of burning comfort down his throat.

For the past few months, Kermit had been what some people would call volatile. For days things would be normal, or as normal as could be expected with the ex-mercenary. Then something would set him off. That's what happened today. "Son-of-a-bitch had it coming," he spit out into the storm.

Kermit had been returning from lunch when he saw a woman waiting behind the precinct. She was dressed in a pale pink oversized sweatshirt and jeans and stood with her back to him. All he could focus on was her long blonde hair. He started walking toward the woman. It was her. He was sure of it. What was she doing here? He walked faster.

Then she turned and gave him a nervous smile. He snapped back to reality. It wasn't Savannah. Only some other woman waiting there in the parking lot. Just then, a man came out of the back of the building. Kermit recognized him as one of the 101st's regular customers who'd tallied numerous arrests for petty crimes, assaults, and drunk and disorderly violations. He was just the type that got Kermit's blood up. A swaggering, leather-wearing, tattooed, loud-mouthed asshole.

The man stalked over to the woman with venom in every step. She held out her hand and nervously began to explain, "Jake. I'm sorry I didn't get here sooner. I was at the mall when...."

"Shut your mouth!" he shouted at her and grabbed her arm. "I didn't say you could go anywhere, BITCH!" He hit her across the face with enough force to knock her to the pavement.

The woman looked up, fear all over her face and gasping for breath. Fear seemed to be an emotion she was well acquainted with given her companion's violent nature. A large, red welt began to form on her cheek and a thin trickle of blood triled from the corner of her mouth. Kermit didn't see her. He saw Savannah's face looking back at him. His lover's face, battered under the blows of a madman as he sat helpless and useless watching Ericson beat her and revel in her terror.

A blinding fury grabbed him. He threw himself on the man and smashed his head into the pavement. The stunned thug was no match for the anger that had been unleashed on him. Kermit was pounding his face and spraying a net of profanity all over him. Growling in his satisfaction as the felled man struggled in futility beneath the weight of past fury and frustration. If no one had intervened, he would likely have killed the man right there behind the precinct.

Chief Strenlich and Peter Caine had heard the woman screaming and arrived to pull the enraged detective off the *victim* before he did any permanent damage.

Afterwards, Kermit had been treated to an abbreviated conference with the Captain. Words like police brutality, improper procedure, out of control, whirled past him. He'd sat there behind his dark glasses and given her only marginal attention. She had told him that he was suspended. She wasn't going to let him get himself or anyone else killed. Get out and be back there at 10:00 in the morning to continue their discussion. So much for their bonding of the past few months.

Now, he was trapped here in this house with no distractions, listening to the voices in his head. He had tried before to shut out the memories with liquor but it didn't work. It only lowered his defenses. *Maybe I just haven't drank enough,* he thought and drained the rest of the bottle. Kermit sat the empty bottle on the coffee table and went to his bedroom.

Every night he was drawn to the picture he kept in the drawer beside his bed. He didn't want to look but he couldn't help himself. *Just one more look.* Sinking down into the bed, he pulled out the object of his torture. Savannah's picture. It had been taken at the 101st's annual picnic. She'd made him go and once he got there, Kermit actually had fun. They had only been dating a couple of weeks at that time and he would go anywhere just to be near her. Just to feel her youth and joy for life wrap around him, he could drop part of his barrier and relax.

Savannah had stopped to tie some little boy's sneakers. T.J. was playing amateur photographer and saw a photo op. He called her name and she looked up at him and smiled. She was just like that. Savannah never waited to size someone up at first glance. Not cautious like Kermit. Her first reaction was to offer that sparkle and greeting. Those dimples. Those green eyes laughing. Her long blond hair draping over one shoulder. T.J. made Kermit a copy and he had kept it on his desk. After he'd sent her away, it didn't seem right to keep it there anymore.

She had walked into the precinct last Spring as the new staff accountant. Neither one of them had an ounce of resistance to what happened. She flowed into his office with that sweet drawl and Southern charm and caught him by surprise. Mary Margaret and Jody claimed all the success for creating the new couple but Kermit knew the truth. He'd been hooked from day one. So had she. They became lovers. Soulmates. Kermit opened his heart and life to her and she wrapped her love around him. Loving her was like coming in out of the cold to sit before a warm fire.

On the very night that he was going to ask her to be his wife, his past had caught up with them. Ericson. A vermin from his mercenary days who had popped up last year and attempted to poison the entire city. Kermit had stopped him and Ericson held a grudge. After escaping from prison, the murderer took his retribution.

Ericson and an accomplice had kidnapped them and brought them to Kermit's house. His plan was to rape Savannah, with Kermit forced to watch, and kill them both. Peter had arrived in time to stop his attack on Savannah but not before Ericson fractured her skull. Kermit still became physically ill when he remembered the blood running in her hair. He'd held her fragile body, wrapped in her torn clothes, and begged her not to die.

The fear and guilt had consumed him. When she had recovered, Kermit pushed her away. Far away from him and his enemies. The thought that events could repeat themselves forced his decision to end their relationship. He had said cruel, heartless things to her. Told her that he was tired of the "moonlight and magnolias" and broke her heart in a million pieces right there in the office. Kermit would never forget the look on her face as long as he lived. He could stand that look in his mind as long as he knew she would be safe and far away from his past. At least, Kermit told himself he could stand it.
Savannah left the precinct that day and never came back. Two days later, she moved out of her house and left town. Kermit checked her forwarding address and found out that she had returned to Memphis. Home. He was relieved to know that she had gone back to her family.

Most of Kermit's friends had guessed why he'd broken it off with Savannah. Skalany didn't speak to him for weeks but eventually defrosted. Captain Simms , who was still new and a bit detached from her detectives' personal lives, only saw the aftermath of the events but didn't know the specifics of the relationship. Peter Caine had tried to talk him out of it and almost had his head taken off for his trouble.

She had been gone for a little over four months now. That time had been filled with intermittent periods of normalcy and insanity for Kermit Griffin. He had made brief connections with Karen Simms. The two of them were what he might call equals. *Both equally screwed up,* he thought. It was something that was really nothing. She had seen a bit more of him than he had wanted her to that day they spent trapped in an elevator after the earthquake. Schneider had also been there. It had taken every remaining bit of his control not to pry that creep's head off. Another memory.

He had almost let go that day. The elevator was falling. Karen was reaching for him and he hesitated before taking her hand and crawling out to safety. She misunderstood his reasons. He wasn't trying to avoid pulling her down with him. He wanted to die. In that split second, he wanted to leap into the howling void and stop the hurt. The feeling didn't last long but it scared him. After that, he decided to fill his emptiness with anger.

Then he'd taken another road. Emma. The greatest performance of his career. Kermit had sized her up from their first contact at the software convention. He decided to play along and find out what she was after. The precinct had been stunned by his behavior. Maybe a few of them thought this would stabilize him. Stupidly, Kermit had believed that he could wash away his memories by sleeping with her. Eyes wide open, he let her think she had won a victory by getting him into bed.

Sex with Emma was loud and rough. Like trying to walk down the back of a runaway train. Raw and dirty. Just bodies that fit together. None of those messy emotions getting in the way. No gentle touches. No joy. No contest to the real thing. He'd had the real thing and nothing would ever compare.

With his head spinning from the sadness and the alcohol, Kermit laid back on the bed pulling her picture to his chest. He could remember Savannah's perfume and her touch. He could hear her laugh at him when he tried to say "ya'll." And most of all, he remembered lying next to her. Watching her sleep and hearing her breathe. His dreams were full of her. Tonight wouldn't be any different from the other one hundred and twenty-five nights since she'd gone.

******

When Kermit woke up the next morning, he felt exactly the way he expected to feel. Like Hell. He looked at his watch and realized he'd be late for his command performance with Captain Simms. After he showered and popped a few aspirin, Kermit headed to the precinct.

His dreams had been filled with ghosts. Kermit would see Savannah reaching out to him. She was as clear as if she had actually been in the room with him. She would reach out and lace her fingers with his as she screamed in pain. He had jolted out of his bed in a cold sweat reaching back for her. Kermit shook his head to clear his thoughts.
Only blocks away from the precinct, he heard the call go out over his radio about a gunman firing in the park. Without a moments hesitation, he turned the Corvair around and headed to the scene.

Peter and Mary Margaret had also heard the call and were there when Kermit came screeching to a stop in the parking lot. It was already a slaughter. The gunman was hold up in the restrooms and firing an automatic weapon randomly over the landscape. There were at least seven people down within a few hundred yards of the sniper. Some moving, some dead still. People had taken cover behind anything they could find.

Because of the time of day, the park wasn't as full as it could have been. Mary Margaret and Peter were trying to get as many of them to cover as they could while they waited for the SWAT team to arrive. The gunman was teasing them. He would hold his fire until someone moved, then he would rain bullets over the entire area.

Kermit had pulled his weapon and was trying to figure out his next move when he spotted something that made him stop thinking and start moving. A woman had dropped down on the grass over a little girl to shield her from the firing. The child had her hands wrapped around the leash of a little brown dog. Somehow, the dog broke free and ran. The child did one of those impossible wiggles that kids can do and took off after him. Trying to chase after them, the woman took a bullet almost as soon as she got up off the ground and dropped back to the grass.

There were bullets raining all around the child who was screaming and running trying to reach her pet. Kermit ran out into the open to intercept the little girl before she became another casualty. Peter was yelling and attempting to cover his rescue attempt. Trying to fire enough to drive the sniper back into his hiding place. The dog took a hit just as Kermit scooped up the little girl and dove behind a water fountain surrounded by some low shrubbery. He felt a slight sting in his side as he hit the ground on top of the child who was crying for her mother.

When Kermit raised his head, the little girl was gone. "Shit!" he yelled. "Where are you, kid?" Kids can move so fast. How had she gotten out from under him and disappeared? He was groping around under the bushes trying to find her when he heard a voice from above him.

"Hey, mister. Are you ok?"

Kermit looked up to see a dark haired girl bending over him. She appeared to be about sixteen, wearing some kind of private school uniform, carrying a backback. Kermit reached up, pulled her down behind the limited cover and yelled, "Get down, you little idiot!"

Stunned by his sudden outburst, she tried to pull away. "What's your problem?" she shouted back at him.

Kermit noticed the sparks in her deep green eyes. "You stand right out in the open in the middle of a gunfight, and I've got the problem!" He was still holding onto her with one hand and his Desert Eagle with the other.

"Look, you're the only one here with a gun that I can see," she replied. The look on her face wasn't what he expected. No fear at all. She was just mad. Mad as hell at him and giving him a look that was more challenge than anything else.

He stopped and listened. No more gunfire. The little girl was gone. Kermit looked back to where the woman and dog had fallen. They were gone, too. Cautiously, he released his grip on the aggravated teenager and got up off the ground.

Where was everybody? Only seconds ago they he had been in the middle of a nightmare. Now, it was just another sunny day in the park. Kermit felt that sting in his side again and his head started swimming.

The girl grabbed his arm and in a worried little voice said, "Look, mister. I think you should sit down. You don't look so hot."

He let her guide him to a bench and she flopped down beside him. "You want a Coke? I've got one in my pack." He shook his head and put his gun down on the ground beside his feet.

Maybe he was losing his mind. He'd had flashbacks before but nothing like this. They had been only brief sounds and scenes that lasted seconds. This had been real. He was sure of it. Kermit closed his eyes and tried to calm himself. He could feel the blood pounding in his head. He made a mental note to pick a better day to have a hangover next time.
Trying to cut the tension, the girl brightened and said, "My name's Katherine. My friends call me Kat. Are you some kind of cop?"

"Oh yeah. I'm Detective Kermit Griffin from the 101st. Shouldn't you be in school?"

"Gee, that's some thanks," she said and rolled her eyes. "Pull you up off the ground out of some hallucination and that's all I get? For your information, I get out early to go to dance class on Fridays. I like to come here to kill the hour or so before I have to be there. Drives my Daddy crazy. He's so paranoid that I'm going to get picked up by some nut in the park." She stopped and smiled at him. "You're not a nut, are you?"

Kermit shook his head and thought that he wasn't really sure anymore.
"You should listen to your Daddy, kid."

"If I did that, I'd never get out of the house!" She laughed and patted his arm. "You should see the way he acts when I go out on a date. Boy, do I get the speech. Then I have to tell him, 'Daddy, I have money, I have my phone, I have my knee. I'm perfectly safe.'"

Kermit couldn't help but laugh. "I bet your he has his hands full with you, Kitty Kat."
Suddenly, those green eyes flashed at him and she stuck her finger in his face. "I hate it when people call me that! There's only person in the world who gets away with that."
"Ok, ok!" he said, holding up his hands in mock surrender.

The breeze was blowing in his face and clearing his head. It was really a lot warmer than it should be this time of year. Really peaceful and quiet. Kermit couldn't remember the last time he'd felt this relaxed. At ease. There was something he needed to figure out but he was starting to forget. He decided that he would just sit there a while and figure things out later.

Kat touched his hand and he turned to her. "I'm fine now, kid. Maybe you should go on home now. I may just stay here a while."

At that moment, he noticed her eyes again. She seemed so familiar. She reached up to touch his face. "That's what I'm here to tell you, detective. It's time for you to go on home. It's not time for you to be here yet. Somebody's waiting for you."

He sat there, staring into those eyes. The world began to sparkle and shift. Then, he was hit by a tidal wave of pain.

Kermit flooded back into his body. Lights were blinding him and the noise was deafening. He could feel pain shooting from his side and up through his chest. There was something on his face choking him. Kermit could hear a whirl of shouting and alarms spinning around him.

"We've got him back!"

The emergency room staff were moving around like ants. Changing tubes, yelling out vital signs and trying desperately to hold onto the life they'd just snatched back.
Dr. Sambourin leaned over his face. "Detective. You've been shot and you're here in the emergency room. Try to relax."

Kermit tried to move his arm to get whatever it was on his face off.

"Here," said the doctor and removed the mask. "Be a good patient, for once!"

He was trying to speak but no sound would come up through his throat. Finally, he got out the words, "Kat...Where is she?"

The doctor asked, "What was that, detective?" The staff arrived to move the patient to the surgical wing. "We're taking you up to surgery now. Do you understand?"

He nodded his head. At least, he thought he did.

"Detective Caine wanted me to tell you that they got the sniper and the little girl you went after is fine. Not a scratch on her. And her mother's going to recover, too" The doctor finished and went out to give Kermit's friends an update.

When she entered the waiting room, Dr. Sabourin was immediately swarmed by everyone present. She held up her hands and plunged into her information. "He's on his way to surgery. The bullet he took went through one lung and lodged between a couple of ribs. He's got a lot of damage to repair and he's lost a great deal of blood. He even flatlined once but he's stabilized enough for surgery."

Peter spoke up. "What are his chances?" He stood there, holding Mary Margaret's hand, and waited for the verdict.

"I think his chances are quite good, actually. He's got to be one of the toughest patients I've ever had to treat. To tell you the truth, any one else would have died out there in the park. This man seems to want to live to bounce back to my ER another day." She tucked her hands into her pockets. "We'll know more in a few hours."

She turned to walk away, then paused. "Oh, he was saying something about a cat. Wanted to know where it was. Do any of you know what he meant?"

They all shook their heads. "Well, tell the nurse to find me when his sister gets here and I'll give her an update." The doctor left them to wait.

******

Peter had stopped by his father's place for a short visit after leaving Kermit's house. It had been one month since the shooting and his friend had already convinced Captain Simms to let him return to duty. Physically, Kermit had recovered but Peter knew that his state of mind was still the same. He was still filled with the same turmoil that had plagued him for the last five months. Peter didn't know how to help and knew it could only get worse. Distractions could get a cop killed. It almost had.

"How is your friend, my son?" Caine asked, placing a hand on Peter's shoulder.

Peter took a deep breath. "His body's in one piece again. His heart's the problem."

Mary Margaret had told Caine about Kermit severing his relationship with Savannah. Caine had gotten to know her briefly while she was here. She was a kind, gentle spirit. He had been pleased that Kermit had found such a woman. Caine felt Kermit's darkness. The love of this woman seemed to release this man from his chains. Her departure from Kermit's life, even though by his own hand, had plunged him back into the darkness. Further this time than before.

"His pain is great," replied Caine.

"It's no use trying to talk to him about it," explained Peter. "The last time I tried, he said he'd pull out my tongue if I ever mentioned her name again. I don't think he was kidding."

The rain that had been pouring for hours began to lighten. Peter gave his father a hug and said, "Well, Pop, it's beginning to slow down out there. I'd better make a run for the car. See ya' tomorrow." He went downstairs, pulled his coat over his head, and walked to the car. He didn't see the figure waiting in the shadows of the nearby store front.

Savannah hadn't noticed Peter's car in front of his father's place until the last moment. She had hidden in a doorway, trying unsuccessfully to stay out of the pouring rain until she watched him leave. There was no way she could let him see her right now.

The past weeks had been harder than she thought on her body and soul. Moving back to Sloanville had been physically difficult and the isolation was emotionally difficult. She had to turn to someone to help her sort things out. Right and wrong had become fuzzy. All she knew was that her pain wouldn't stop until she had decided on a course of action. This was no way to continue. Especially now.

Over the months that Savannah had been part of the 101st, she had heard these words time and time again. "Go to Chinatown. Ask for Caine. He will help you." Mary Margaret, Peter, and even Chief Strenlich had sent people to him when their trouble outstretched the limits of the police. Caine was the only port left to her.

After she watched Peter drive away, she made her way up the stairs to Caine's apartment. The room was dark except for the warm flickering of candle light. The glow was almost hypnotic. She tried to adjust to the light and in a shaky voice, called, "Caine. Are you here?"

Caine stepped into the light and answered, "Yes. I am here." He didn't seem shocked to see her. He met her in the doorway and invited her inside. "It has been quite some time since your departure. Mary Margaret will be pleased to know that you have returned."
As he drew near her, Caine could sense her turmoil. It was as the storm outside his window. "You are cold and wet, child," he said as he reached to help her remove her wet overcoat.

When Caine touched her, she swayed against his arm. He let her fall against him and as she stood, suspended in his embrace, her secret was revealed.

Savannah was pregnant.

Caine removed her coat and found her a place to rest.

"I'm sorry. I'm just feeling a little shaky tonight. Guess I forgot to eat today." She expected him to begin asking all the obvious questions but he only sat beside her, quietly massaging her hand and helping her to relax.

After a few minutes, still without inquiring as to the nature of her visit, Caine left her to make tea and get her something to eat. When he returned, he instructed her that in her condition, it was unwise to skip meals and insisted that she refresh herself then they would talk. Caine found a towel, and as she finished her tea, he began to gently dry her dripping hair. It was such a kind, fatherly gesture. Savannah closed her eyes and felt the tension fade away.

It had been such a long time since she had felt any comfort from another human being. Every night she went to sleep longing for it. Missing that connection. Wanting to hear that powerful heartbeat as she rested her head on Kermit's chest. He filled her dreams and the aching in her heart wouldn't stop. Many times over that past months, she had dreamed of him in tremendous pain. She would wake up, shaking and trying to reach him beside her only to find that familiar empty bed.

Savannah was feeling stronger now. She turned to Caine and asked, "How is everyone?"

"Your friends are all well." Caine thought it best not to mention Kermit's recent brush with death. Savannah seemed to be in such a delicate condition, he wanted to avoid upsetting her further if possible. "They were concerned when they lost contact with you."

"It felt dishonest to call Mary Margaret and not tell her about the baby but I couldn't tell her and then expect her to keep my secret. I'm sorry I hurt her," she finished and looked down at her hands.

"Why have you not told Kermit about the child?" His tone wasn't accusing or judgmental.

For some strange reason, Savannah wasn't at all shocked that he knew who the father was without asking.

"I knew about the baby before he decided to break things off between us. At first, I told myself that I didn't want to trap him or force him to do something he wasn't ready for but that's not entirely true," she replied, as a tear rolled down her cheek. "I've come to realize, over the past months, that I haven't told him because it was my only way to fight back after he threw me out of his life."

There it was. The ugly truth that had punished her everyday for months. She was doing this to hurt the one person she loved more that life. The guilt was overwhelming. Savannah had never knowing hurt anyone in her entire life. Until now. How could he forgive her? No matter what his reasons were for sending her away, she had no right to keep him from his child if he wanted to be part of it's life. Her anger and hurt shouldn't be part of the equation. She couldn't forgive herself.

All the months of silence came pouring out of her. As Caine sat beside her, holding her hand, he listened to her detail the events of her life since her departure. After Kermit's rejection, she had returned to Memphis. She had hoped, for a while that he would change his mind. In reality, she had known better. Kermit had decided that this was the correct course of action, and without that one vital piece of information that he was lacking, he had no reason to change his mind.

Her father, not knowing the true reason for her return or the traumatic events that had lead up to it, had been overjoyed for her to take her place in his firm and return to the family. When it became clear that she could no longer keep her secret, she came to her parents with the truth. The reaction she received was not support and comfort.

They were furious. Savannah's father ranted. How could she do this to them? Her mother commented that she "was surprised it took this long." When she refused to "terminate this mistake of hers" and save them the scandal and embarrassment, they suggested that she go somewhere where no explanations would be necessary. Mr. March offered her one year's severance pay from the firm and she moved out of their home. After a few weeks, she returned to Sloanville. Isolated without her family or friends.

"I can't do this alone anymore. It hurts so much," she finished and the tears began to flow more freely. She had used up all of her reserves over the course of her pregnancy. More than anything, she wanted to be strong for the baby. To be a good mother. She'd taken charge of her life. Made a home for the two of them. Found a job to begin after the baby was born. She'd even started interviewing babysitters. But tonight, her shoulders could hold no more. She'd reached the limit.

The priest drew her into his arms and let her cry. "The darkness of this secret threatens all three of you," Caine began. "You, your unborn child, and the child's father. New life is a joy to all and should be shared. Not hidden."

This young woman was desperately seeking his help. Caine reached down and touched her round stomach. "The guilt and fear that Kermit feels drags at his soul, as does yours. Your lives are now intertwined in the life of this child. Two paths that are forever joined. Nothing can change that fact. To pull against that truth denies all involved the chance to rejoice in the light of this creation."

"I know that I have to tell him about the baby," she struggled, placing her hand on Caine's. "I just don't know if I have the strength to do it. I'm afraid to call because he might not talk to me. I can't just show up and say, 'Here I am. I'm six months pregnant. Aren't you thrilled?'"

"Would you like me to speak to Kermit?" Caine knew that Savannah's fear and turmoil, combined with the strain of the pregnancy, had drained her. If he could help her to release this secret, it could be the turning point that Kermit, Savannah and this unborn child must have to find their way.

To Savannah, his offer seemed too generous to accept. Was she being a coward? On the other hand, she didn't think that she had the strength to withstand another rejection. If Kermit rejected her again, face to face, after finding out about this child, it would push her over the limit of all endurance.

She accepted his help. Caine would speak to Kermit the following day. If he decided to keep his distance, at least he would be making the decision with all the information. It seemed ironic to her now that Kermit had been the one to make that offer to her months ago when they were together. He had come to her and revealed his dark past to her. He wanted her to have "all the relevant information" about him before she decided to continue their relationship. How had it come to the point where she was the one withholding information? <The world turns in strange ways,> Savannah thought as she left Caine's apartment to return home.

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